Top 10 Players in the NBA / Top 10 "Cheap American Beers" (#4)

Over a year ago I set forth on a difficult, some would say impossible, journey.  I decided to concurrently rank the ten best current NBA players and ten best "Cheap American Beers". Unfortunately, "life happens" and my quest was delayed, but I never forgot how important these rankings are to so many.  Since the ranking hiatus I have had AT LEAST two people ask me when I was going to name the last four players/beers (thanks guys, it takes a village).

So here we are.  Obviously, if I were to re-rank today, some guys/brews may move up/down or in/out based on the last 15 months.  But I am not going to re-rank.  First, I recommend you catch up to see where we are and understand where we are going.

Catch Up:

#10 Click Here

#9  Click Here

#8  Click Here

#7  Click Here

#6  Click Here

#5  Click Here

#4 Kobe Bryant & Dwayne Wade/ Miller Lite

Photo Courtesy of http://6.kicksonfire.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Wade-and-Bryant-cover.jpg

Yes.  I am combining two guys into one.  If these guy's bodies hold up they are both still this good.  If you want to beat your head against the wall just look at some of the guys ranked ahead of these two on ESPN's NBA 500: Demar DeRozen. Goran Dragic and Paul Millsap just to name a few.  If these guys are so good and better than champions like D Wade and Kobe THEN WHY DON'T THEIR TEAMS EVER WIN ANY FUCKING GAMES?

Photo courtesy of onmilwaukee.com

Miller Lite is a lot like D Wade and Kobe: been there, done that, and dominated.  Millet Lite tastes good, feels good and just might be the perfect daytime domestic/recovery/football Sunday brew.  Plus, it is now in old school cans and give mellenials a drunken connection to their fathers.

Hypocrisy & Double Standards in the Jameis Winston Saga

There may not be a better example of the pathetic state of college football's administration and its portrayal in the media than the ongoing situation with Jameis Winston.  It is looking more and more likely that any potential long-term suspension or dismissal from the team will be the result of Winston profiting from his signature (something 99% of college students can do without repercussions) as opposed to being accused of a sexual assault in which the school and police department botched the investigation.  Now, this article is not about Winston's innocence or guilt, but rather it is about an unfair and asinine process in which extremely biased administrators arbitrarily dole out punishment without any thought to anyone except themselves.  And except for a few rare instances, major sports media either outright defends or ignores this flawed process.

Photo Courtesy of ABCnews

Rewind to 2013.  Late in Winston's Heisman/National Championship season, the state attorney announceed an investigation into sexual assault allegations that were made against almost a year earlier.  It quickly comes out that the initial investigation was "open/inactive".  Almost instantaneously fans and media alike start the chorus: "due process!", "let the criminal justice system play out", and "you can't suspend him until he is found guilty".  Obviously, it seems, when it comes to allegations of sexual assault, due process and guilt beyond a reasonable doubt are important to fans, administrators, and commenters alike.  And we know how this portion of the story goes: Winston and the Seminoles win the national championship and Winston takes home the Heisman after the Tallahassee DA (with some light-hearted chuckling) announces that charges will not be filed.

Now, lets juxtapose the sexual assault allegations with Winston's most recent snafus.  Winston was suspended for a game for shouting a vulgar phrase popularized on the internet after the World Cup.  That's right, Winston was suspended a game for saying something millions of other people have said.  Where is due process now?  What about Winston's freedom of speech or the arbitrary nature of punishing only him for saying something many others have said?  Better yet, what about letting the criminal justice system play out before suspending him?  Shouting something vulgar is not even a crime.  Yet, Winston is suspended a game anyway and the media, for the most part, thinks it was the "right thing to do".

Currently, Winston is in hot water for possibly profiting from signing some memorabilia.  Hopefully, all readers have come to understand just how grossly unfair this rule is to begin with.  But in what can only be described as insanely hypocritical, the NCAA is now investigating these allegations and are likely to rule Winston ineligible if they are able to substantiate the claims.  Once again: not a crime (not even close), no due process, and no guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.  The key difference, it appears, is that the NCAA feels Winston's actions affect their interests in maintaining their amateurism rules.

The hypocrisy and double standards in the Jameis Winston situation are abundant.  Winston is afforded all the benefit of the doubt in the world when it comes to allegations of sexual assault.  However, when Florida State's or the NCAA's public image come into play then Winston is singled out and made an example of.  In sum, being accused of sexual assault results in no discipline, saying something vulgar warrants a one game suspension, and getting money to sign memorabilia may result in ineligibility.  

A Day With Dad: A guest blog by Crosby Jane Proctor

This week starts a new semester for dad at school, which means that one day a week I stay home from school and hang out with him (Nana gets a day too).  Apparently paying someone else to care for me is expensive (?).  Anyway, this semester he picked Tuesday, last semester I stayed home on Fridays...there goes my three day weekend.  Today I have decided to share with you what a typical day kicking it with just dad is like.

First and foremost, I am dressed in some type of clothing representing one of his favorite sports teams.  Today it is the Tigers.  Of course, we aren't going to a Tigers game, they do not even play until 7:10 (10 minutes past my bedtime), and even if I were awake, I would not be allowed to watch TV.  Nonetheless this is what I am wearing:

After getting dressed, we read one of my favorite books: "Wild Animals"...

Next is "breakfast with the Killers" (not my idea)...

Sorry dad, I would help clean up but I have to play some more and then take a nap...

After an hour and half nap, it was time to enjoy the day with my big-headed brother...

WHEW!  Those walks can take a lot out of you.  I need to hydrate...

And refuel...

Dad called it a "fiesta", it was really leftover Mexican food.

Now I am full of energy...

Not pictured:  I almost knocked over a framed Dali print!

Now I am not...

Up and at em', it is time to listen to some Bruce (not my idea) and play in dad's office...

In the process of achieving my goal of removing every toy from the bin

Well, hanging out with dad all day has been fun and all, but MOM IS HOME!

.

@tree get outta here

I love trees in general, but there is a certain tree I loathe:

Fuck this tree.

This gigantic, worthless tree is in our backyard.  Before we agreed to purchase our home, we had the previous owner cut off some of the large branches that loomed over our house.  However, this was not enough.  Twice in 2014 we have had huge branches fall from this tree during storms.  The losses?  My jeep, a gate/section of fence, roof damage, gutters destroyed (x2), a picnic table, a cracked kitchen ceiling, three insurance deductibles, and last but not least, our premium and deductibles have both been raised. 

Oh don't worry I got another car: a 2002 gold Taurus

Most recently the tree decided it was time to hit the neglected front half of the house:

You would think the insurance company realized that removing the tree would help prevent them from writing check after check for damage that is causes.  But of course, using logic that makes you want to beat your head against the wall, the insurance company said its policy is to wait until the tree falls on its own, which could cause tens of thousands of dollars worth of damage or kill someone, as opposed to paying to have the tree removed before it falls.  THIS TREE SUCKS.  

Bonus shitty stuff about this tree:

1)  It does not lose all of its massive amount of leaves until early December, so it is inevitable that the yard is covered in leaves for the majority of the winter.

2)  In the spring it loses thousands and thousands of what I call "helicopters".  They get stuck on the roof and cover the entire ground.  THIS TREE SUCKS

Well, maybe I should say this tress sucked.  That's right, this tree is no more.  I summoned the quality dudes from T's Tree to come out and do a number on  it.  Here are the results:

*MANIACAL LAUGH*  

No match for T's Trees

Good riddance

Re: Christina Perri

Can you recall a time when you discovered something or someone you knew was going to be the real deal?  It is pretty special to be "first" on something like that, especially if whatever (or whomever) you discover was unknown by your friends and family at the time.  Hipsters claim to do this all of the time, but they frequently leave out the two most important parts and discover things that are 1) terrible and 2) never become popular.  I know, I know, the Frankfurter Petticoats has a really interesting arrangement consisting of 2 trumpets and a xylophone, but somehow they didn't catch on with the mainstream music fan.

Anyway, I am not going to say I "discovered" Christina Perri, I am sure her parents and elementary school music teacher knew of her talent before I did.  But I will say I was one of the very first to see something special.  One day about 10 years ago, I was listening to a relatively obscure radio station here in Louisville (102.3 "The Max") and heard a song called "Arms" by Christina Perri.  I felt the generic drama and pain resonate through her powerful voice.  Soon after, I did some serious digging on YouTube and unearthed the "A Thousand Years" video, which was apparently on the soundtrack to a B vampire movie.  Not only did she have the voice, but she had an edgy look too, like my girl Sara Bareilles with tats!  Right at that moment, I told anyone that would listen "This Perri is going to be the real deal sooner rather than later."  If you don't believe me, I bet my mom saved the voice mail.  

Now here we are today and Christina Perri has passed up both Madonna and Beyonce as the highest selling female musical artist of all time.  I am not going to rub it in your face and say "I told you so", but I will ask that the next time I randomly send you a music video or recommend a special condiment that you remember that I sometimes have an eye for these types of things.  I leave you with CP's latest smash "Human", it is a deep video, but if you pay really close attention you will notice she starts as some type of machine and becomes "human" towards the end.  It is something to see:

Chili's

Chili's, I served with intense flavor combinations. I knew intense flavor combinations. Intense flavor combinations were a friend of mine. Chili's, you're no intense flavor combination.

R.I.P

You never got the credit you deserved.  You saved many shoppers a few steps by refrigerating Mexican food items in the Mexican aisle.  Excuse me, I am going to walk all the way to the cheese section now to get Mexican cheese.  I guess you don't know what you got until it's gone.

Whatever happened to the twist movie ending?

Just think of all the great movies with a twist ending: primal fear, memento, fight club, the usual suspects, the sixth sense, signs, the prestige etc.. They all seemed to come out in around the same time.  What happened to that?  Now we get stuff like the transformers.  Let me guess, the robots are humans, whoopty doo, big twist (I have never actually seen those movies).  People were all up in arms about frozen.  Well the girl\snowman thawing out isn't exactly unpredictable.  I guess the twist ending era is officially over.   Thanks Obama. 

Your tax dollars at work

Seriously, what is with all these damn signs?  Everywhere I turn: here is the street you are on, here is how fast you can drive, there are some men working up ahead .  Does the government really need to tell me what street I live on?  Hell, I have been in this house for five years!  How about instead of wasting tax payer dollars for a sign on my street, the governor pays to recharge my air conditioning in the car.  Of course he does not do that, because that would make too much sense.  So here I am sweating in my vehicle and all that metal street sign is doing is attracting more heat.  Talk about something contributing to global warming.  How about instead of making us drive hybrids, we tear down some fucking signs!

Do not even get me started on this. 

We as tax payers are left completely in the dark about how much of our hard-earned paycheck goes to telling us such pertinent information as what state we are entering/exiting, who volunteers to clean a mile of the road, and semi truck weight limits.  DO YOU SEE ME DRIVING A SEMI TRUCK?  I did some googling to see how much signs cost and just about puked my guts out when I found the answer.  One "Pedestrian Crossing" sign is going to set Americans back between $106 and $183.25.  Of course, had I not seen that pedestrian crossing sign, I would have just assumed it was okay to plow into people crossing the road.

Where is that astronomical cost coming from?  It is a big piece of metal.  And its not like labor costs are high.  Some prisoner somewhere is getting paid a quarter an hour to bang out sign after sign after sign.  Still on the fence?  Think signs are worth it?  Try this on for size: $130.55-$183.75 for a sign that depicts a guy riding a tractor.  That's right, your sweat-stained dollars are being spent to tell you that that thing that appears to be a guy riding a tractor is in fact, a guy riding a tractor.

Crosby Jane here, just checking in

Hey there world, long time, not talk (get it?  I can't talk yet).  Anyway, I wanted to get on here and add some original content, as opposed to just copying and pasting a tl;dr school assignment across 50 different posts like some other people we know.

So, who do you all have in the world cup?  Dad has Brazil over Argentina in the finals, needless to say, he really went out on a limb there.  I am going to go a different direction and pick France, mostly because I have a wardrobe that features a lot of Eiffel Towers.

Told Ya

So what else is new?  Well, I am learning to eat.  I use this learning curve as an excuse to make the absolute biggest mess that I can.  Watching mom and dad scramble to clean up my dining area is a fantastic way to unwind in the evening.  I will admit though, sometimes I have to try really hard and throw my spoon a couple of extra times to ensure that I have a messier area than dad.  I get away with a huge mess because I am only 7 months old; your guess is as good as mine as to what his excuse is.

Sandwiches are still difficult.

On top of learning to eat, I have also gotten my own place.  That's right, no more bassinet in mom and dad's room, I am kicking it in my own room.  It feels good to be able to breath a little, plus I have room to roll around in my crib.  Unfortunately, I can only roll over onto my stomach and then I am stuck.  The only advantage to this is that if dad (I don't do this to mom) puts me down for a nap, I can roll over on my stomach, get mad, and then scream until he comes in to flip me back over.  

Uh oh, it is way past my bed time. I have very much enjoyed telling you all about my recent comings and goings.  Until next time, keep it real.