Thursday, June 16, 2011

News and Notes (06/16/2011)

News and Notes is a new recurring entry to Proctor's Type.  As the creative name would suggest, News and Notes will be filled with a a couple tidbits of information related to the world through the eyes of Proctor's Type.  (Translation:  I haven't put enough thought or effort into coming up with a full blog entry on one subject)  For those of you who are looking for top notch journalism and non-polarizing political commentary please stop reading and ask your parents if they happen to have a VHS recording of Nightline from the late 80s and a VCR to watch it on (if they are a hoarder you are in luck).  For those of you looking for mindless rants about mundane topics and over-reaching, one-sided takes on modern day "issues", look no further...

1.)  Storage Wars is a bunch of bullshit
I will be the first to admit that I love a good A and E show.  Show me a couple camera-loving detectives tracking down leads in the first 48, a crazy person with big piles of shit all over their house or a sad tale of a life lost to drug and alcohol addiction and I am hooked.  However, I cannot give such high praise to Storage Wars.  Storage Wars is without a doubt one of the most contrived, asinine, downright crappy programs ever produced.  Have you all seen this?  If so, can someone please explain to me how EVERY storage unit makes more money for the buyer than he spent on it?  Why wouldn't the buyers catch on to this and buy every one of them?
Even the storage sheds that seem like busts have last second hidden gems that make the purchase worthwhile.  Example:  "Well we spent 800 dollars on this shed and all it has is a bunch of children's stuffed animals, I guess we are fucked.  Oh wait a second... is that a 2nd edition Tweety bird from 1956...holy hell it is!  Thats worth 4000 dollars!"  This leads me to my other point, who values this crap?  Example: "Well we aren't seeing a lot of items worth anything yet, however we do have this urine-soaked newspaper from you think a raccoon pissed on this?  150 dollars, easy."
Maybe I'm not giving the show a fair shake.  Maybe I should become a storage shed buyer, seeing that it is one of the easiest, most lucrative "careers" out there.  But for now I am going to have to say that if I turn A and E on thinking I am going to see someone lose 400 pounds and I end up with this, I am going to throw my remote control through the wall.

2.)  A great way to kill time and spread good faith
I got a wild hair up my ass and decided it would be hilarious to send a group of my friends a picture of myself.  It doesn't sound hilarious in theory but in practice look out for major laughs.  Why would a 27 year old guy send a picture of himself to a random group of mostly male friends in the middle of the day?  In the days we live in of "sexting" and what-not what exactly would you call this?
Imagine checking your phone on a break at work and this is what you see.  I haven't talked to many of the recipients in months and this is the lone communication we have had.  You should try it. The responses are the funniest part (not replying to the responses adds to the weirdness of the whole situation).  Here are some hilarious replies I received:

1) "U laying on the floor?"
2) "What exactly am I looking at here?"
3) "I am aroused"
4) "Why did you send me this?  Haha its weirrrd"
5) "Why are you sending me pictures of you?"

and my favorite, from my mom (I don't think she got it and was just trying to be supportive)

"Hey good Looking"

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