Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Top 10 Players in the NBA/ Top 10 "Cheap American Beers" (#3)

Catch Up:

#3 Chris Paul & Anthony Davis/ Busch Light
Courtesy of http://cdn.fansided.com
I am sure many (both?) readers who have been following this countdown for over a year are wondering why I keep taking the liberty to list two players in a single position.  Well, my best explanation is that a lot has changed since I started this list and I lost the original piece of paper where I wrote down the top 10.  It may be pathetic, but this is what I am doing.  Not to mention it would be an absolute travesty to not have AD on the list, which he would not have been if I wrote all of this in anything approaching a timely manner.  He is on pace to have one of the great statistical seasons in the history of the NBA.  Chris Paul is still fantastic even though the Clippers are annually the equivalent of losing hot water during a shower.

I know that Anheuser Busch have been some horrible dicks of late to the craft beer community.  But that being said, I love an ice cold Busch light.  The flavor is better than its big brother: the un-ranked Bud Light, and it is less expensive.  I think the world would be a better place if most places you went there were street vendors selling cans of Busch Light for $1.  Street vendor makes a little money on the markup, purchaser gets an ice cold Busch Light for a reasonable price, and of course the can will be recycled.

Condensed weather report

Snowed like a mug & cold af

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Snow Storm RE: How To Survive

They are saying it is going to snow like the Dickens tonight and tomorrow.  Here are 10 survival tips for snow storms:

1.  Have on hand 3 beers for every inch of snow predicted.  If the prediction is a range, use the highest end of the range for your calculation.  For example: a forecast of 6-12 inches= minimum 36 cold ones at the ready.

2.  If the electric goes out do not just assume you should put your beers in the snow.  The temperatures are going to be dropping rapidly and your can/bottle may very well explode.  My recommendation is to have a collapsible cooler inside and fill it with snow and beer in the event of a power outage.

3.  A variety of beer is not ideal.  Sure, you may not know what mood you will be in, but that is all the more reason to just stick with the basics.  Find the staple of your choice and load up.

4.  Have DVD copies of replays of your favorite sporting events ready to roll in the event cable/internet goes out.  Crack a few and pretend like you are watching it the first time.

5.  If you take vital medication, make sure you have some.  Also make sure you have shelter, food, and water.

6.  If you are from Louisville, be prepared to discuss where you were in 1994 and how many days you got off of school/work.  Also, be prepared to feel old because that was 21 years ago.  The winter storm of 1994 is old enough to drink your beer you are stock piling, but do not let it.

7.  If you are transporting your beer and run off the road into a snow embankment, do not hesitate to start pounding the brews.  Then piss on the snow until it melts and you can leave.  Of course, you will be twisted so sleep it off.

8.  If the forecasters are off on the amount of snow be prepared for:
        a.  Social media posts about how terrible meteorologists are.  Quite possibly many of your                   friends will say that if they messed their jobs up that badly they would be fired.
        b.  Various snide items of memorabilia declaring "I survived the winter storm of 2015". Do not           purchase.

9.  If the forecasters are correct about the amount of snow:
        a.  Whiny ramblings about how adults should have snow days too.
        b.  Everyone saying everyone else does not know how to drive in the snow.

10. Do not lock yourself out of the house, especially if you do not have pants on.


Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Awesome News: Chris Dominguez signs minor league deal with the Reds

On one hand, I hope Dominguez can make the Reds, on the other I hope we have him here for the Bats.  I swear I saw Dominguez hit a ball about 450 feet out of Jim Patterson Stadium.  If the cheap beer stand had been there at the time, this shot would have cleared it by 10 feet.  So jacked for baseball.