Thursday, May 4, 2017

The "genius" at Target

This morning I went to Target to grab a few things. As I was patiently waiting to ask someone where "automotive" is, I overheard a conversation between a customer and a store employee. The customer was going to the track and asked if they had any ponchos because she was ready to "buy them out". Unfortunately for her, she was informed by the store employee that all of the ponchos were already sold out. To this the customer replied "well, ya know what we did one year? We all just held a large tarp over our heads and moved around like an amoeba, it was absolutely genius." Then she bought a tarp. The whole exchange pissed me off greatly.

First off, I know we have had a dumbing down in America, but is holding a fucking tarp over your head when it is raining now considered "genius"? E=MC^2, NASA, The Great Gatsby, and covering your head when it is raining, one of these things is not like the other.  Second, if the tarp thing worked so well, then why was she trying to buy ponchos. Did she tell everyone she was going with that she is bringing ponchos and is instead showing up with a tarp? They are going to the track, not covering a boat for the winter. Third, I do not know how an amoeba moves, but I doubt it is anything like a bunch of drunk people holding a tarp over their heads. Finally, what was the point of bragging to the Target employee about how many ponchos you were planning on buying? They do not work on commission. And what if they had 1000 ponchos, was she really going to "buy them out"?

I know some of you all may be wondering why I have been seething about this all day, but I like to think that some of you all are uncontrollably shaking with anger right now. I mean, a GENIUS, really?!?  Come on.

I should close by noting that I hold no ill will towards the customer. I hope her and her friends have a fun, safe, and dry time at the track, but please, let's work on our phrasing when speaking to employees at Target. You never know who is listening and what they might blog about.