Sunday, December 21, 2014

Gift Ideas: Holidays 2014

Do you have someone that is impossible to buy for?  Are you a participant in some form of gift exchange (draw names, white elephant etc)?  If so, you are running out of time.  Fortunately, we are here to help you out with a few last-minute ideas:

1)  Lottery Tickets, Cost: $1 and up.
        If you want to almost assuredly anger the recipient of your gift you can give them lottery tickets in lieu of the money you spent to buy the lottery tickets.  Four things are almost certain to happen: 1) money will be lost 2) there will be about 3-4 minutes of mild pleasure while the recipient scratches off the boxes 3) whomever provides the coin to "scratch" the ticket will have an unsubstantiated feeling of self worth and 4) someone will proclaim "you won!" on a ticket in which the payoff is equal to the cost.

2)  A Restaurant Gift Card for the perfect amount to not be enough for two trips but too much for one trip, Cost: (look up the restaurant's most expensive entree, two drinks and a salad up-charge, multiply by two then add about $5).

        In the card: "Well, you can go twice and get a couple sandwiches and waters or go one time and glutton yourself with the 7-layer chocolate cake you did not want"

3)  Leatherman, Cost $20-90. 

        I have given and received many Leatherman multi-tools over the years.  It is a fantastic gift, but I cannot say for certain any of these Leatherman utility tools have ever been used for anything.  I would like to think they have, but the truth is I do not know what half of the shit on there does.   Either way, the recipient feels handy until they leave the tool in their belt pouch and it somehow ends up destroying the washer and they realize they cannot fix a washer with a Leatherman.
Oh good, a serrated blade, now I can (something)
4)  Reserved Burial Plot, Cost: varies upon location.  

        This may seem a tad on the morbid side.  On the other hand, the American Funeral Directors Association says that pre-planning creates peace-of-mind and can save thousands of dollars over time.  This is a touchy one, but would bring some solid laughs to a white elephant exchange.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

The Lost Art of Chugging

No one ever chugs anything anymore.  You hear it all the time: "here, sip this" or "hey, drink that at a moderate pace".  What ever happened to rippin' and roarin'?  And no, bro, I am not just talking about beer.  Americans used to chug everything, now if you see more than three gulps in-between glass pick-up and put-down you should purchase a lottery ticket.

When I was growing up, personal volume and speed chugging records were worn like a badge of honor and well known among various peer groups.  My buddies and I would bring a few extra quarters and watch chocolate milk cartons pile up on the lunch room table.  In three fluid steps, a half pint is no more: 1) open 2) chug 3)thrown container down.  Notice I did not say anything about wiping mouth off; that is optional and often unnecessary.  Unfortunately, nowadays I see milk cartons remain unopened and wasted.  While I was getting 8 grams of protein and 30% RDV of calcium per carton, kids today are going through life without.  And it is all because they do not know how to chug it.

Obviously, the art of chugging is not limited to milk or school.  Many of my most cherished moments involved chugging.  While a teenager I went to a week-long church camp at a college in Tennessee.  And what do I remember about that: unlimited Powerade (before you ask, yes, contestants got to pick their own flavor) and the chug-offs that ensued.  Every year at Boy Scout camp there was a relay race of sorts that culminated with the Scoutmaster chugging a Slushie!  I chugged Proctoborfests at my wedding.  I chugged champagne with my family after U of L won the 2013 championship.  I chugged cask-conditioned pints in pubs during my honeymoon.  Hell, I even chugged some hospital-provided small cans of Sprite after Crosby's birth.  (Side note: it is a misnomer that soda cannot be chugged, it is not easy BUT IT CAN BE DONE).  The very fabric of my being is interwoven with events involving rapid consumption of liquids.

Now I am afraid for the future.  Sure, I see the gigantic "big gulps" that kids carry around these days, but they all have straws.  You cannot properly chug through a straw.  I am fearful of dehydration.  Whereas if you gave me five minutes, a cup and a faucet I could re-hydrate, now people require I.V.s.  Do you know how much I.V.s cost?  I have not done the math, but it is quite possible the healthcare crisis in this country is the result of a lack of chugging basics.

Take a stand against anti-chugging.  Support chugging NOW.  Teach your children.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Thankful 2014

I am jacked and thankful for so many things today.  Here is my list:

1)  Earth

2)  I guess I better say all of the other planets because I like them too, but I do not know if Pluto is still a planet.  And I certainly as hell am not going to put a random moon on my thankful list.  Hmmm, let's do this:
Pluto (if a planet)

3)  This picture:

4)  My #fam- I am thankful for my entire family (parents, in-laws, sis, aunts, uncles etc.), but I really like this picture of the three of us (the household).

5)  Explanatory parentheticals (just kidding)

6)  The morning- coffee, productivity, rested, pancakes, waffles, eggs, etc.

7)  Eddie Bauer- I am going to keep Eddie Bauer on the list, but I am running into "the EB effect".  Basically, you buy some Eddie Bauer shirts and you have to keep wearing them year after year because they are high quality, but you become a little tired of the designs.

8)  Pizza- What can I say?  I fucking love pizza.  It tastes so damn good.  You eat it with your hands.  This is not a ranked list, but if it were, would pizza be number 1?

9)  The co-commissioner of my dynasty fantasy baseball league- Sometimes very tough decisions regarding ownership of minor league players need to be made.  And what the hell do we do if a Cuban defects and is signed?  Who has the rights?  Thankfully, it all gets sorted out, year after year.

10) Documentaries about exonerated people on Netflix- This is a tricky one, because in order for there to be documentaries about wrongfully imprisoned people on Netflix, there have to be wrongfully imprisoned people.  So, let's be clear, I am thankful for the docs, and #notthankful that people spend years in prison for crimes they did not commit.

11) Drinking beer while watching sports on tv

12) Drinking beer at live sporting events

13) Drinking beer while listening to recorded music

14) Drinking beer at concerts

15) Seasonal beers- Imagine the saying "you don't know what you got until it's gone", BUT THEN IT COMES BACK NEXT YEAR.
Just a few more months...

16) Friends- My comrades, not the TV show

17) Friends- The TV Show- I do not watch the reruns, but enjoyed the show when it was on.  This probably should not be on the list.

18) The Sauna at the Y- You got a little cold? SAUNA.  Muscles sore? SAUNA.  Need to brainstorm? SAUNA. Need to sweat out some toxins? SAUNA. Want to be put in an awkward situation when a random older nude man walks in and sits next to you? Never-mind, scratch the last one.

19)  My Miguel Cabrera wastepaper basket:

20)  My dad's record collection- This is the gift that keeps on giving.  I decide one day I want to start playing records for Crosby so that she can be musically on point.  So my dad gives me a record player.  Then he gives me some records.  Then he gives me some more records.  Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Bob Seger, The Beatles (man, there are so many great musical artists whose name starts with B), so many classics for Crosby to hear.  Although now I am suspecting a ploy of sorts: "yeah why don't you bring Crosby over and we can go through some more records".  My mom is getting into it too, she even offered up Frampton Comes Alive.  Notice that did not make the list.

Gobble, gobble Bruhs and Bruhettes 


Friday, November 14, 2014

The Cologne XCHANGE that wasn't

I had the best idea.  Some bros get together and exchange various selections from their respected cologne collections.  Do you want some Polo Blue sprays for a special night?  No problem.  Just send your fellow Cologne XCHANGE member your bottle of Drakkar Noir.  Job interview?  Get some Cool Water from an XCHANGE buddy.  And the best part?  He has some fresh Lacoste for his hot first date!  LOOK OUT LADIES!
Imagine the possibilities
What could go wrong?  Well, everything.  What if a member is a heavy sprayer?  You send a 4.8 oz bottle and only get back 3 ounces.  And what about quality?  If I am sending you some Hugo Boss and all you have to offer is Stetson, then I may as well jump off of a cliff.  The fatal blow to my plan was the thought that someone may bring a imitation to the exchange,  I just can't.  Some dreams aren't meant to be.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Top 10 Players in the NBA / Top 10 "Cheap American Beers" (#4)

Over a year ago I set forth on a difficult, some would say impossible, journey.  I decided to concurrently rank the ten best current NBA players and ten best "Cheap American Beers". Unfortunately, "life happens" and my quest was delayed, but I never forgot how important these rankings are to so many.  Since the ranking hiatus I have had AT LEAST two people ask me when I was going to name the last four players/beers (thanks guys, it takes a village).

So here we are.  Obviously, if I were to re-rank today, some guys/brews may move up/down or in/out based on the last 15 months.  But I am not going to re-rank.  First, I recommend you catch up to see where we are and understand where we are going.

Catch Up:
#5  Click Here

#4 Kobe Bryant & Dwayne Wade/ Miller Lite
Photo Courtesy of
Yes.  I am combining two guys into one.  If these guy's bodies hold up they are both still this good.  If you want to beat your head against the wall just look at some of the guys ranked ahead of these two on ESPN's NBA 500: Demar DeRozen. Goran Dragic and Paul Millsap just to name a few.  If these guys are so good and better than champions like D Wade and Kobe THEN WHY DON'T THEIR TEAMS EVER WIN ANY FUCKING GAMES?

Photo courtesy of
Miller Lite is a lot like D Wade and Kobe: been there, done that, and dominated.  Millet Lite tastes good, feels good and just might be the perfect daytime domestic/recovery/football Sunday brew.  Plus, it is now in old school cans and give mellenials a drunken connection to their fathers.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Hypocrisy & Double Standards in the Jameis Winston Saga

There may not be a better example of the pathetic state of college football's administration and its portrayal in the media than the ongoing situation with Jameis Winston.  It is looking more and more likely that any potential long-term suspension or dismissal from the team will be the result of Winston profiting from his signature (something 99% of college students can do without repercussions) as opposed to being accused of a sexual assault in which the school and police department botched the investigation.  Now, this article is not about Winston's innocence or guilt, but rather it is about an unfair and asinine process in which extremely biased administrators arbitrarily dole out punishment without any thought to anyone except themselves.  And except for a few rare instances, major sports media either outright defends or ignores this flawed process.

Photo Courtesy of ABCnews

Rewind to 2013.  Late in Winston's Heisman/National Championship season, the state attorney announceed an investigation into sexual assault allegations that were made against almost a year earlier.  It quickly comes out that the initial investigation was "open/inactive".  Almost instantaneously fans and media alike start the chorus: "due process!", "let the criminal justice system play out", and "you can't suspend him until he is found guilty".  Obviously, it seems, when it comes to allegations of sexual assault, due process and guilt beyond a reasonable doubt are important to fans, administrators, and commenters alike.  And we know how this portion of the story goes: Winston and the Seminoles win the national championship and Winston takes home the Heisman after the Tallahassee DA (with some light-hearted chuckling) announces that charges will not be filed.

Now, lets juxtapose the sexual assault allegations with Winston's most recent snafus.  Winston was suspended for a game for shouting a vulgar phrase popularized on the internet after the World Cup.  That's right, Winston was suspended a game for saying something millions of other people have said.  Where is due process now?  What about Winston's freedom of speech or the arbitrary nature of punishing only him for saying something many others have said?  Better yet, what about letting the criminal justice system play out before suspending him?  Shouting something vulgar is not even a crime.  Yet, Winston is suspended a game anyway and the media, for the most part, thinks it was the "right thing to do".

Currently, Winston is in hot water for possibly profiting from signing some memorabilia.  Hopefully, all readers have come to understand just how grossly unfair this rule is to begin with.  But in what can only be described as insanely hypocritical, the NCAA is now investigating these allegations and are likely to rule Winston ineligible if they are able to substantiate the claims.  Once again: not a crime (not even close), no due process, and no guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.  The key difference, it appears, is that the NCAA feels Winston's actions affect their interests in maintaining their amateurism rules.

The hypocrisy and double standards in the Jameis Winston situation are abundant.  Winston is afforded all the benefit of the doubt in the world when it comes to allegations of sexual assault.  However, when Florida State's or the NCAA's public image come into play then Winston is singled out and made an example of.  In sum, being accused of sexual assault results in no discipline, saying something vulgar warrants a one game suspension, and getting money to sign memorabilia may result in ineligibility.  

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

A Day With Dad: A guest blog by Crosby Jane Proctor

This week starts a new semester for dad at school, which means that one day a week I stay home from school and hang out with him (Nana gets a day too).  Apparently paying someone else to care for me is expensive (?).  Anyway, this semester he picked Tuesday, last semester I stayed home on Fridays...there goes my three day weekend.  Today I have decided to share with you what a typical day kicking it with just dad is like.

First and foremost, I am dressed in some type of clothing representing one of his favorite sports teams.  Today it is the Tigers.  Of course, we aren't going to a Tigers game, they do not even play until 7:10 (10 minutes past my bedtime), and even if I were awake, I would not be allowed to watch TV.  Nonetheless this is what I am wearing:

After getting dressed, we read one of my favorite books: "Wild Animals"...

Next is "breakfast with the Killers" (not my idea)...

Sorry dad, I would help clean up but I have to play some more and then take a nap...

After an hour and half nap, it was time to enjoy the day with my big-headed brother...

WHEW!  Those walks can take a lot out of you.  I need to hydrate...

And refuel...
Dad called it a "fiesta", it was really leftover Mexican food.

Now I am full of energy...
Not pictured:  I almost knocked over a framed Dali print!

Now I am not...

Up and at em', it is time to listen to some Bruce (not my idea) and play in dad's office...
In the process of achieving my goal of removing every toy from the bin

Well, hanging out with dad all day has been fun and all, but MOM IS HOME!


Wednesday, August 13, 2014

@tree get outta here

I love trees in general, but there is a certain tree I loathe:
Fuck this tree.
This gigantic, worthless tree is in our backyard.  Before we agreed to purchase our home, we had the previous owner cut off some of the large branches that loomed over our house.  However, this was not enough.  Twice in 2014 we have had huge branches fall from this tree during storms.  The losses?  My jeep, a gate/section of fence, roof damage, gutters destroyed (x2), a picnic table, a cracked kitchen ceiling, three insurance deductibles, and last but not least, our premium and deductibles have both been raised. 
Oh don't worry I got another car: a 2002 gold Taurus
Most recently the tree decided it was time to hit the neglected front half of the house:

You would think the insurance company realized that removing the tree would help prevent them from writing check after check for damage that is causes.  But of course, using logic that makes you want to beat your head against the wall, the insurance company said its policy is to wait until the tree falls on its own, which could cause tens of thousands of dollars worth of damage or kill someone, as opposed to paying to have the tree removed before it falls.  THIS TREE SUCKS.  

Bonus shitty stuff about this tree:
1)  It does not lose all of its massive amount of leaves until early December, so it is inevitable that the yard is covered in leaves for the majority of the winter.
2)  In the spring it loses thousands and thousands of what I call "helicopters".  They get stuck on the roof and cover the entire ground.  THIS TREE SUCKS

Well, maybe I should say this tress sucked.  That's right, this tree is no more.  I summoned the quality dudes from T's Tree to come out and do a number on  it.  Here are the results:

No match for T's Trees
Good riddance

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Re: Christina Perri

Can you recall a time when you discovered something or someone you knew was going to be the real deal?  It is pretty special to be "first" on something like that, especially if whatever (or whomever) you discover was unknown by your friends and family at the time.  Hipsters claim to do this all of the time, but they frequently leave out the two most important parts and discover things that are 1) terrible and 2) never become popular.  I know, I know, the Frankfurter Petticoats has a really interesting arrangement consisting of 2 trumpets and a xylophone, but somehow they didn't catch on with the mainstream music fan.

Anyway, I am not going to say I "discovered" Christina Perri, I am sure her parents and elementary school music teacher knew of her talent before I did.  But I will say I was one of the very first to see something special.  One day about 10 years ago, I was listening to a relatively obscure radio station here in Louisville (102.3 "The Max") and heard a song called "Arms" by Christina Perri.  I felt the generic drama and pain resonate through her powerful voice.  Soon after, I did some serious digging on YouTube and unearthed the "A Thousand Years" video, which was apparently on the soundtrack to a B vampire movie.  Not only did she have the voice, but she had an edgy look too, like my girl Sara Bareilles with tats!  Right at that moment, I told anyone that would listen "This Perri is going to be the real deal sooner rather than later."  If you don't believe me, I bet my mom saved the voice mail.  

Now here we are today and Christina Perri has passed up both Madonna and Beyonce as the highest selling female musical artist of all time.  I am not going to rub it in your face and say "I told you so", but I will ask that the next time I randomly send you a music video or recommend a special condiment that you remember that I sometimes have an eye for these types of things.  I leave you with CP's latest smash "Human", it is a deep video, but if you pay really close attention you will notice she starts as some type of machine and becomes "human" towards the end.  It is something to see:

Saturday, June 28, 2014


Chili's, I served with intense flavor combinations. I knew intense flavor combinations. Intense flavor combinations were a friend of mine. Chili's, you're no intense flavor combination.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014


You never got the credit you deserved.  You saved many shoppers a few steps by refrigerating Mexican food items in the Mexican aisle.  Excuse me, I am going to walk all the way to the cheese section now to get Mexican cheese.  I guess you don't know what you got until it's gone.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Whatever happened to the twist movie ending?

Just think of all the great movies with a twist ending: primal fear, memento, fight club, the usual suspects, the sixth sense, signs, the prestige etc.. They all seemed to come out in around the same time.  What happened to that?  Now we get stuff like the transformers.  Let me guess, the robots are humans, whoopty doo, big twist (I have never actually seen those movies).  People were all up in arms about frozen.  Well the girl\snowman thawing out isn't exactly unpredictable.  I guess the twist ending era is officially over.   Thanks Obama. 

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Your tax dollars at work

Seriously, what is with all these damn signs?  Everywhere I turn: here is the street you are on, here is how fast you can drive, there are some men working up ahead .  Does the government really need to tell me what street I live on?  Hell, I have been in this house for five years!  How about instead of wasting tax payer dollars for a sign on my street, the governor pays to recharge my air conditioning in the car.  Of course he does not do that, because that would make too much sense.  So here I am sweating in my vehicle and all that metal street sign is doing is attracting more heat.  Talk about something contributing to global warming.  How about instead of making us drive hybrids, we tear down some fucking signs!

Do not even get me started on this. 
We as tax payers are left completely in the dark about how much of our hard-earned paycheck goes to telling us such pertinent information as what state we are entering/exiting, who volunteers to clean a mile of the road, and semi truck weight limits.  DO YOU SEE ME DRIVING A SEMI TRUCK?  I did some googling to see how much signs cost and just about puked my guts out when I found the answer.  One "Pedestrian Crossing" sign is going to set Americans back between $106 and $183.25.  Of course, had I not seen that pedestrian crossing sign, I would have just assumed it was okay to plow into people crossing the road.

Where is that astronomical cost coming from?  It is a big piece of metal.  And its not like labor costs are high.  Some prisoner somewhere is getting paid a quarter an hour to bang out sign after sign after sign.  Still on the fence?  Think signs are worth it?  Try this on for size: $130.55-$183.75 for a sign that depicts a guy riding a tractor.  That's right, your sweat-stained dollars are being spent to tell you that that thing that appears to be a guy riding a tractor is in fact, a guy riding a tractor.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Crosby Jane here, just checking in

Hey there world, long time, not talk (get it?  I can't talk yet).  Anyway, I wanted to get on here and add some original content, as opposed to just copying and pasting a tl;dr school assignment across 50 different posts like some other people we know.

So, who do you all have in the world cup?  Dad has Brazil over Argentina in the finals, needless to say, he really went out on a limb there.  I am going to go a different direction and pick France, mostly because I have a wardrobe that features a lot of Eiffel Towers.
Told Ya
So what else is new?  Well, I am learning to eat.  I use this learning curve as an excuse to make the absolute biggest mess that I can.  Watching mom and dad scramble to clean up my dining area is a fantastic way to unwind in the evening.  I will admit though, sometimes I have to try really hard and throw my spoon a couple of extra times to ensure that I have a messier area than dad.  I get away with a huge mess because I am only 7 months old; your guess is as good as mine as to what his excuse is.
Sandwiches are still difficult.
On top of learning to eat, I have also gotten my own place.  That's right, no more bassinet in mom and dad's room, I am kicking it in my own room.  It feels good to be able to breath a little, plus I have room to roll around in my crib.  Unfortunately, I can only roll over onto my stomach and then I am stuck.  The only advantage to this is that if dad (I don't do this to mom) puts me down for a nap, I can roll over on my stomach, get mad, and then scream until he comes in to flip me back over.  

Uh oh, it is way past my bed time. I have very much enjoyed telling you all about my recent comings and goings.  Until next time, keep it real.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Partner and serious capital ($$$) needed for authentic pub investment

Aren't you sick of walking into your local "Irish (or British) pub" and it basically being a typical bar that  happens to serve Guinness and Fish and Chips?  When I was in London, I visited numerous pubs and none of them had a menu that resembled Applebees or turned into a dance club at night.  Soccer dominates the television screens, patrons order their food at the bar, and cask beer is a delicious option.  Sure, the NFL, chicken wings, and Miller Lite are immensely popular, but there are already numerous establishments catering to those tastes.  A pub should be a pub.  Why do we have to Americanize something that is by its very nature un-American?

The inside of our favorite pub in London, The Champion
So, this leads to my idea.  Louisville (and many other places) need an AUTHENTIC British pub.  That means curry on the menu, those weird mint peas served with Fish and Chips, and traditional British breakfast served for Premier League matches.  There will be no late night DJ, girls in referee outfits, or bang bang shrimp.  The food will be of high quality and moderately priced, as will the drinks.  Basically, imagine extracting a pub from London and putting it in Louisville.  

The idea is on point, but now I need a location, a huge wooden bar, a chef, employees etc.  That means I need start-up money.  I am willing to make whoever can provide such funds an equal partner.  This is going to be fantastic.  Serious inquiries can be emailed to me at  

Friday, May 23, 2014

"My Skin is Against Me": Critical Race Theory & Baseball

Hello world,
Many (millions?) of you all may have noticed that I have not been blogging much at all recently.  This is partly due to typing three 20+ page papers/notes for school last semester.  Basically, I am typed-out.  However, I am going to share one of these school papers I wrote on here.  If you have any interest in baseball, race relations, or statistics, this will hopefully be of interest to you.  The class I wrote this paper for is called Critical Race Theory and is a very interesting area of study.

Due to the length, I am breaking up the sections into separate posts so you can read as many or as few as you would like:

Part I. Introduction

Part II. Baseball's White Elite

Part II. A. The Commissionership

Part II. B. General Managers and Ownership

Part II. C. "Color Blindness"

Part II. D. The Role of Minorities at the Top

Part II. E. Conclusion

Part III. Telling Baseball's Stories

Part III. A. Statistics Painted White: The Dominate Narrative

Part III. B. The Asterisk

Part III. B. i. Pre-integration player's statistics should be marked with an asterisk

Part III. B. ii. Statistical achievements of African American players who were subjected to racial abuse are under-valued in baseball's history.

Part III. C. Flaw in the "objective" Wins Above Replacement statistic

Part III. D. Conclusion

I hope fellow baseball and baseball history junkies (I do not like when people use "junkies" in this sense, but oh well) read, enjoy, and comment.

"My Skin is Against Me": Critical Race Theory & Baseball, Part III. D. Conclusion

D.  Conclusion
            Critical Race Theorists emphasize the importance of storytelling and developing a counter-narrative to oppose the dominate group narrative.  The current dominate narrative of baseball's greatest teams and players is supported by faulty "asterisks" and statistics.  Fan rankings, such as the EloRater, represent a widespread buying into the dominate narrative which tells of the superiority of  pre-integration players. 
            A proper counter-narrative disparages the dominate narrative by questioning both the objective and subjective aspects that support it.  By placing "asterisks" by the statistical records of pre-integration players, their lofty statistics are subjectively diminished.  Further, placing a "positive asterisk" by the statistics of African American players who were subjected to racial abuse emphasizes the difficulty of achieving such records.  Finally, a recalculation of advanced statistics that support the dominate group narrative, such as WAR, objectivity is given to the counter-narrative. 
            The story that emerges is one that properly tells the greatness of African American players in baseball's history.  Pre-integration white players are grouped with performance enhancing drug users in displaying that they were not playing in a fair game.  Racially-abused African American player records are shown to be even more remarkable than previously considered.  And even the great Babe Ruth's records are lessened, while it is objectively exhibited that Willie Mays and Hank Aaron were superior players. 

"My Skin is Against Me": Critical Race Theory & Baseball, Part III. C. Flaw in the "objective" Wins Above Replacement statistic

C.  Flaw in the "objective" Wins Above Replacement statistic
        The placement of an asterisk leaves a lot to subjectivity.  Whether there should be an asterisk, how much weight to give the asterisk, and what the asterisk means (if anything) are all relative to the observer.  On the other hand, modern day statisticians have been working on complex mathematical equations that compare players across all eras objectively.  
        Wins Above Replacement (WAR) is an estimation of the number of wins a player adds to his team in any given year.[i]  Basically, because you have player A on team B, as opposed to a replacement player (denied as a bottom-tiered major league/top-tiered minor league player), team B won X number of additional games than they would have otherwise.[ii]  For example, Miguel Cabrera had an estimated WAR of 7.5 in 2013.[iii]  Therefore, it is estimated that the 2013 Detroit Tigers won 7.5 more games with Miguel Cabrera than they would have had they called up their third baseman from Toledo (the Tiger's AAA team).
        WAR is a valuable tool when comparing any player's value to another.[iv]  WAR allows for shorter seasons, various size ballparks, "pitchers eras", contraction, and expansion by always comparing a player against a "replacement player" from the same year who was playing in the same number of games, with the same number of teams, etc.[v]  However, WAR has a fatal flaw when it comes to calculating the value of pre-integration players.  Pre-integration players "replacement player" is significantly worse than a post integration "replacement player" because the Major Leagues did not allow all of the best players to play. 
        For every African American player who began to play in the Major Leagues, there was one less roster spot to be occupied by a white player.  It follows that many players who were considered "replacement" caliber pre-integration were much worse, and many regular players were in fact, "replacement" level.  Thus, after integration, WAR compared players against a much better replacement player, and players would have to perform substantially better in order to get "wins above" what the replacement level player could produce.
        This hypothesis is supported by the significantly greater presence of pre-integration  players on all time WAR leader boards.[vi]  Six of the top ten players on the Career WAR Rankings (Ruth 183.6, Cy Young 168.4, Walter Johnson 165.6, Cobb 151.1, Speaker 133.6, and Wagner 131.0) all played their entire careers in segregated baseball.[vii]  Further, of the four post integration players listed in the top ten, two have been implicated as users of performance enhancing drugs (Barry Bonds 162.4 and Roger Clemens 140.3).[viii]  The two remaining PED-free, post integration players on the list are both African Americans (Willie Mays 156.2 and Hank Aaron 142.6).[ix]  Without the above criticism of the WAR calculation, an otherwise objective review of the top ten WAR players would yield a finding that the most valuable players of all time are, for the most part, white.  On the other hand, when accounting for the weaker "replacement player" for pre-integration players, pre-integration players WAR is diminished.
        WAR, as is currently calculated, provides supposedly objective evidence to the dominant group narrative of the superiority of pre-integration players.  However, a counter narrative emerges when the otherwise objective WAR calculation properly factors in a reduction based on the vastly inferior "replacement player" pre-integration players are compared to.  For this example, players who played their entire careers before 1947 have their career WAR total reduced by 30%[x], players who played before and after 1947 have their career WAR total reduced by 15%[xi], and players implicated in PED use are omitted.[xii]  The recalculated top ten career WAR players looks like this:
1)  Willie Mays                                                       156.2
2)  Hank Aaron                                                      142.6
3)  Babe Ruth                                                         128.5
4)  Cy Young                                                           117.9
5)  Walter Johnson                                                115.9
6)  Rickey Henderson                                           110.8
7)  Tom Seaver                                                       110.5
8)  Mickey Mantle                                                 109.7
9)  Stan Musial                                                      108.9
10)  Frank Robinson                                             107.2

        This is not a perfect ranking[xiii] but it exemplifies three important parts of a counter-narrative.  First, the greatest African American players are vastly under-rated in the number of wins they created for their teams within the traditional WAR calculation.  Second, many of the greatest post-integration white players (Seaver, Mantle etc.) are similarly under-rated.  Finally, Babe Ruth is not the greatest player of all time.  Ruth's maintaining third place on the list, despite a deduction, is a testament to his greatness; however, Mays and Aaron, whom played in baseball's true golden era, are markedly better in terms of career WAR.

[i] War Explained, Baseball Reference, (last visited April 13, 2014).
[ii] Id. (The advanced statistical formulas used to determine WAR are outside the scope of this article).
[iii] Miguel Cabrera, Baseball Reference, (last visited April 13, 2014).
[iv]  War Explained, Baseball Reference, (last visited April 13, 2014).
[v] Id.
[vi] Baseball Reference, Career Leaders& Records for Wins Above Replacement,, (last visited April 13, 2014).
[vii] Id. (years played in career can be seen by clicking on an individual players name)
[viii] Id.
[ix] Id.
[x] This is a somewhat ambiguous number.  30% is probably not a great enough reduction, but is used here to simplify the illustration.  A proper reduction will be left to sabermaticians.
[xi] See footnote 113.
[xii] This is not to say these players are undeserving, rather to keep the example limited to one factor.
[xiii] Most glaring is the lack of any Negro League legends. 

"My Skin is Against Me": Critical Race Theory & Baseball, Part III. B. ii. Statistical achievements of African American players who were subjected to racial abuse are under-valued in baseball's history.

ii)  Statistical achievements of African American players who were subjected to racial abuse are under-valued in baseball's history.
            All of the "asterisks" listed above connote a tarnishing of the record in which an asterisk has been affixed.  However, an asterisk can be used to represent any additional information about the information in which it is attached.  After integration, African American players were subjected to a wide array of physical and verbal abuse on and off of the diamond.[i]  For example, Jackie Robinson was frequently deliberately spiked by players sliding into second.[ii]  Additionally, Robinson and other African American players were frequently the targets of racial epithets and taunts.[iii]  These conditions made playing baseball in the Major Leagues much more difficult than it already was for the first African American players.[iv]
            In a bedrock Critical Race Theory article, Richard Delgado outlines the detrimental physical and psychological effects for the victims of racial abuse.[v]  In fact, Delgado posits that the victims of verbal racial abuse should be able to bring a tort claim against their abuser.[vi]  Hate speech, such as the type African Americans were exposed TO post-integration can harm the victim physically, emotionally, and fiscally.[vii]
            First, victims of hate speech develop feelings of humiliation, isolation, and self-hatred.[viii]  Further, African American victims of hate speech are more likely to have health problems related to high blood pressure and hyper-tension.[ix]  Finally, many victims of hate speech see their careers suffer.[x]  "The person who is timid, withdrawn, bitter, hypertense, or psychotic will almost certainly fare poorly in employment settings."[xi]
            For baseball players, "employment settings" are in the clubhouse and on the diamond.  Acts such as hitting a 90 mile per hour fastball and fielding a hard grounder are difficult enough without the harms of racial abuse.  Thriving is such conditions would seem to be next to impossible.  However, many early integration African American players succeeded at the highest levels on the sport.
            There is not a better example of an African America player thriving soon after integration than that of Jackie Robinson himself.  Racial abuse started for Robinson in Montreal, where he played in the Dodgers' farm system for a year before making the Major League squad in 1947.[xii]  The Montreal manager, Clay Hopper, begged Branch Rickey to not hire him to manage an integrated team.[xiii] Hopper even asked Rickey whether he really thought that "a nigger's a human being."[xiv]  The racial abuse and pressure led to detrimental physical and mental effects for Robinson including abdominal pain and Robinson fearing a nervous breakdown.[xv]  Despite this, Jackie Robinson won the Rookie Of The Year award in his very first season in the Major Leagues.[xvi]  Two years later, in 1949, Robinson was named the National League's Most Valuable Player.[xvii]  What were already impressive feats, are even more so when accounting for the racial abuse Robinson encountered.
            On field achievements, represented by awards and statistical records, do not tell the whole story for African American players who were subjected to racial abuse after integration.  Racial insults lead to mental, physical, and pecuniary harm while making it difficult to excel in a workplace.  When comparing player's achievements against one another, it is imperative to consider the added difficulty racially abused African Americans endured while playing.  Unlike an asterisk that denotes a tarnishing of a statistical record, a "positive asterisk" should accompany the records of African Americans who were subjected to racial abuse.  Such an asterisk would remind fans that the playing field was not even for all players, even after integration.

[i] Baseball:  Sixth Inning.
[ii] Richard Wormser, JACKIE ROBINSON INTEGRATES MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL,, (last visited April 12, 2014).
[iii] Id.
[iv] Baseball: Sixth Inning.
[v] Richard Delgado, Words That Wound: A Tort Action for Racial Insult, Epithets, and Name-Calling, 17 Harv. C.R.-C.L. L. Rev. 133 (1982).
[vi] Id.
[vii] Id.
[viii] Id.
[ix] Id.
[x] Id. 
[xi] Id.
[xii] Baseball:  Sixth Inning
[xiii] Id.
[xiv] Id.
[xv] Id.
[xvi] Jackie Robinson, Baseball Reference, (last visited April, 12 2014).
[xvii] Id.