A couple major shavings highlight this past week in the Proctor family. It started with your's truly shaving off a forgettable beard and rocking a mustache for around five hours. Despite my enjoyment and satisfaction with the mustache, I eventually gave into outside pressures and shaved it off. The main opponent was my beautiful wife, who, for whatever reason, cannot stand me having a mustache. It makes her mad, and not in one of those "oh I do not think that looks good, but you are cute anyway" ways. I think it upsets her more than anything else I say or do, which is saying a lot.
|R.I.P (mustache, not me, I am still alive)|
We meet people all of the time and we tend to meet people in various social settings. Be it at work, church or a cocktail party, we must make split-second decisions about what we say and do in the initial meet. Unfortunately there is no perfect way to greet a brand new acquaintance, but Proctor's Type is here to help by providing the pros and cons of different greeting methods.
The insanely firm handshake and stare:
Pros- You have temporarily appeased your insecurities and asserted your strength and dominance. You do not have to worry about the person you just met ever voluntarily talking to you again.
Cons- The person you just met thinks (knows?) you are an asshole. Also you could cause undue pain to someone with a hand or wrist injury.
Pros- If you can pull it off, hugging a stranger instantly makes you and that person friends. You are considered a loving, open person.
Cons- Numerous. You may creep the unsuspecting stranger out. You may be sued for sexual harassment. If the hug receiver has a gun in their waistband you risk triggering it and being shot.
There is never a time or place for a civilian to do this. If the person you are meeting is in the military they will assume you are mocking them, which you are. If the person you are meeting is not in the military they will assume you are a dork, which you are.
Reaching for you wallet because you assume they are going to ask you for money:
aka the East End Man special
Pros- People will assume you have a lot of money and are charitable.
Cons-What bad could possibly come from exhibiting your wealth and influence?
Tool of the Week
Honestly I am not 100% sure what Socialcam is or how it is any different than Youtube. All I know is that every time I log onto Facebook one of my friends is watching one of these videos. Sometimes they seem very disgusting, something to the effect of "watch this guy drink his own urine" or "check out the world's worst dandruff". More often they seem to be violent such as "lil' dude knocks the fuck out of big ol' dude" or "mom breaks bottle on daughter's boyfriend's head". The worst part is that, in the rare instance one of these videos seem appealing, I cannot even open the link without installing something.
Beer of the Week
Bell's Oarsman Ale
On first sip, the sour mash in this beer is almost too much, but that is what makes the beer so delicious. This beer is the Lemonheads of brewing, the sour is balanced just enough to make ceasing consumption impossible. Be warned, this is one of Bell's few session beers, with a meek 4.0% abv, so a sixer may not do the trick.