Thursday, June 14, 2012

And on the 4th Day...

Proctor's World
Well I officially know my last day with the bank: July 27th.  Working with 5/3 has had its ups and downs like anything else, but I have met some solid bruhs and bruhettes along the way.  As the ol' saying goes, this law school train is a-rollin' down the tracks , no point in hitting the brakes now.  Orientation starts August 13th (the day after my birthday) so I will have a couple weeks to unwind and prepare.  It is not, however, a long enough period to "find myself" as so many do the summer before starting a major endeavor.  The idea of this has always intrigued me and I have been wanting to create my own Willy Wonka meme so..

Our World
For my readers outside of Louisville, you may be unfamiliar with the "East End Man" character, but after hearing just a little bit about him I am sure you will be able to match him to a similar type in 
your area.

Summer time is special: the days are long, school is out and everyone seems to be having fun.  Lost in the shuffle is the summer time plight of the East End Man.  It is far too warm to layer Northface apparel and snow cannot be used as his justification for having an H2.  His swinger Halloween  party is still months away and his Kentucky Oaks box next to Jon Bon Jovi seems like a distant memory.  So just how does the East End Man display his superiority for the rest of the world during these hot months?  Below are five pointers for the East End Man to maintain his prestige during summer:

1.  Vacation- Be sure to vacation at an exclusive area outside of a very popular tourist area.  For example, if someone asks you where you are going on vacation say something like "we are headed to St. Bartholomew island, it is a nice little spot a few miles from Daytona Beach".  This way it is obvious you are near the party but still above it.

2.  Vacation Cont.- Keep in mind it is better to say "we have a place in (vacation destination)" than "we are going to (vacation destination)" because then people know you are not renting.  You could also say "we have a little place in (vacation destination)" so if the person you are talking to ever visits they will be impressed with the size of your second home.

3.  Sunglasses- It seems like everybody and their brother has Ray Bans these days, so the East End Man is left with two choices.  The first is to buy sunglasses more expensive than Ray Bans and somehow convey to everyone that they are better.  The second is to wear Ray Bans but whenever someone asks about them just say "oh, I buy these cheap things because I am always losing my sunglasses or sitting on them".

4.  Polo Shirts- It is still upsetting that those punk kids have taken to ruining the classic Polo Ralph Lauren brand.  Thankfully golf heroes like Greg Norman have taken to "designing" their own line of polo shirts.  Wear those.

5.  Beer- Two words: Amstel Light

Tool of the Week
Jim Rome
I will admit that I like Jim Rome.  I think he is funny, has solid takes and knows a lot about sports.  But this week Rome messed with the wrong guy when he asked NBA commissioner David Stern if the draft lottery was fixed.  I cannot not do Stern justice by paraphrasing just how much he killed Rome on his own show, here is the audio:
From Deadspin

Beer of the Week
Old Peculier 
Buddy brought a couple of these over in a mix 6 while we watched England vs. France.  A perfect Old Ale with a classic flavor that you do not see around much anymore.  Next goal: to try if from a cask

1 comment:

  1. You are funny man. You should be famous newspaper columnist. I bet money you have big penis. Yay!! Big penis man write good blog!!!

    Cheers from Helsinki, Finland.