Thursday, March 8, 2012

And on the 4th Day...

Proctor's World
I would like to start by thanking my readers for helping me to surpass a milestone.  After last week's "And on the 4th Day..." Proctor's Type surpassed 10,000 page views.  When I started a little over a year ago I did not know how much I would enjoy blogging and if I was just going through a phase.  It turns out I love writing Proctor's Type and for the most part look forward to a few hours brainstorming and typing every week.  Readership has gone up overall and I have a solid group of 50 or so who are checking in weekly.

My next goal is to finally reap the financial benefits of blogging.  I am only $20 away from reaching my first $100 threshold payout!  Certainly not going to make me rich but you can bet I am going to buy $100 worth of the coolest shit imaginable (beer).  Actually check that...I am going to buy $50 worth of beer and make a $50 donation to the Humane Society of Kentucky.  How am I making this ridiculous amount of cash?   It comes from people reading my blog (impressions) and ad revenue.

Once again Thank You


Weight Watchers update:  0.6 up this week.  I had an active week and stayed within my points so I think the slightly heavier weigh-in was pay back for a little cheating I did before last week's weigh-in.

Our World
Who does not love a good drinking game every now and then?  Mindless drinking to excess based on flimsy "rules" is a sure ticket to a night of fun.  Unfortunately, these games tend to get old quickly.  With this in mind, I have decided to make a few new drinking games based on television programs for you all to enjoy.  Here are a few basic rules:
1.  Do not drive after playing
2.  A "drink" is approximately one ounce of beer or malt liquor, these are more common.
3.  A "shot" is a shot of liquor, these are less common.
4.  A "chug" is a continuous gulping of beer or malt liquor for a specified amount of time.

Parenthood
1.  Take a shot every time Adam reacts emotionally and hastily to a situation then later apologizes and makes things right.
2.  Chug for the entirety of every one of Max's tantrums.
3.  Take a drink every time Julia's career as a lawyer is mentioned.
4.  Did Sarah just let someone take advantage of her?  Take a drink.
5.  If Joel ever does anything wrong take a shot.
6.  Anytime anyone is at the breakfast place take a shot of maple syrup.
7.  If Zeke's form of tough love turns out to be successful take a drink.
Super Drunk Bonus:  Take a shot every time someone says "family".


Criminal Minds 
1.  Take a drink every time an inference is correctly made based on an agent's behavioral science training.
2.  Take a shot every time an incorrect inference is made.
3.  Is that a smile on Hotchner's face?  Take a shot.
4.  Chug for the entire time that takes place between the killer holding their ultimate prize hostage and the team arriving on the scene and talking the killer down.
5.  Did one of the agents just get captured?  Take a shot.
6.  Did an agent survive a gun shot?  Take a shot.
7.  Take a drink every time someone says "Quantico"
8.  Take a drink every time Morgan says something "cute" to Garcia and vice-versa
Super Drunk Bonus-  If you are not sure if an episode is new or from a few years ago within the first five minutes of the show, double all of your drinks.
Close enough, this will cost you a shot


Grey's Anatomy
I do not watch this one as much but I am pretty sure these rules will still apply
1.  Take a drink every time a specific surgery is mentioned
2.  Did a surgery with a <10% chance of working work?  Take a shot.
3.  Take a shot at every instance of obvious medical malpractice.
4.  Chug during the entirety of every sex in a medical closet scene.
5.  If Yang's drive to be a professional surgeon is causing problems in her personal life take a shot.
6.  Did either Grey say or do something stupid?  Take a drink.
7.  If Alex shows his softer side take a drink.
8.  Did an intern just get treated like crap?  Take a drink.
Super Drunk Bonus:  Chug during the entirety of every montage featuring dramatic scenes and a trendy singer-songwriter song in the background.

Sports
Sports will no longer be featured in And on the 4th Day...
I will occasionally post special entries on the world of sports as well as begin writing for straitpinkie.com and straitcards.com.
Be on the lookout for a full MLB preview with a drinking game for each team.

Tool of the Week
I opened up TOTW to the readers last week and received some excellent candidates.  It was too hard to pick just one so I will present three reader-selected Tools of the Week:

-Happy from Fairdale commented:
"My tool of the week candidate is Andrew Schiff. The story that quoted him discussing "the hardships" of having your salary drop to $350k went viral. His follow-up was that he is on the low payment rung of his company and just trying to live as a middle class New Yorker. I know NYC is an expensive place, but nowhere in America is $350k considered middle class. The guy has a summer home and his kids are in private school for heaven's sake. I'll give it to him that the economy has effected his income, but does it really give him the right to complain like that with so many unemployed?"


Excellent Choice Happy but you're too nice...Fuck Him.


-Tim from Chicago chose a commercial character:

That Progressive Insurance guy with the mustache. He needs to back the fuck off with his meter feeding, toll paying, bag check reimbursement ways. That is not at all what it's like to switch insurance companies. Isn't Flo enough, Progressive? Or do we need a guy who unrealistically forces down a false notion of money in my pocket thanks to switching insurance?


Well Said.

-Will from Spain (interestingly also nominated for TOTW) chose Bob Morris, a state representative from Indiana:

Try as I might to make this dumbass sound even more Tool than he already is, I cannot defeat his own words:

Nice hair, dipshit
-Two readers Paul and Melissa both from Louisville nominated the hateful blob that is Rush Limbaugh but that is just too easy.  Melissa said it best:
" Rush Limbaugh? But he's for sure tool of the millenium, so maybe let someone else 'win'. Perhaps... I can't think of anyone, my heart burns with anger. "

Exactly.

Beer of the Week
Dos Equis Amber, draft 32 oz. w/ lime


This should be your only choice when going to a Mexican restaurant.  If they do not have Dos Equis Amber or if it not on draft or if they do not offer the 32 oz. serving do not go there.



Friday, March 2, 2012

And on the 4th Day...

I know I am a day behind here.  I am going to blame it on the leap day even though that does not make any sense.

Proctor's World
Yesterday I took a productive trip to the University of Louisville Brandeis School of Law.  My FAFSA is completed, first seat deposit is payed and I am locked and loaded for Fall 2012 incoming class.  U of L works for us: they gave me the best scholarship offer of all the schools I applied to, we live here and I can finally get season football and basketball tickets again.  I made it a point to ask the admissions officer a thousand questions more pointed towards law school life in general than U of L itself.  Luckily, I have a few solid friends whom are close to graduating law school and another starting this year as well, so I will have some knowledge of what to expect.  It is going to be a change of pace and a lot of work, but I am blessed to have the opportunity and I plan on making the most of it.

Weight Watchers Update: 1.8 pounds down this week.  I was very worried I would be up after a calorie-laden Indianapolis trip but I pulled off all the stops before weigh-in.  I ran in a sweatshirt to work up a good sweat and I wore a T Shirt and Shorts to shave a little bit of clothing weight off.  It worked, and I finally had two down weeks in a row, now I hope to make it a third.

Our World
We all know the quality of entertainment on television and on the movie screen has gone down over the past few years.  It seems like more tired ideas are recreated over and over to the point we do not know if what we are watching is "new", a sequel or a rerun.  Reality TV is terrible for the most part and premium channels are required for quality TV series.  Do not even get me started on films.  These days a modern day box office smash is a children's cartoon morphed into live action with "cool" special effects.  Then they make five or six of them.

Rewind to last night.  Laura had just gotten home from work, we were making dinner and we could have settled in to clean up the DVR.  We had an over-the-top, ridiculous episode of Criminal Minds we could have watched, we still have the Top Chef finale (do not tell me what happened) and I had DVRd Around the Horn, as if I needed to hear ESPN talking points one more time.  Let us not forget the Redbox probably has a new entry into the Fast and The Furious or Transformers franchise.

Fortunately for us we have a very talented church friend who is part of a theater group called Looking for Lilith (check out their web site) and we enjoyed their latest production as opposed the previously mentioned drab choices.  Performed in the intimate setting of the Rudyard  Kipling (their web site), Beyond the Blue Mountains is a captivating look at a family's journey west in the mid-1800s through the eyes of the strong women involved.  The story is based on the poetry of Jane Wilson Joyce's book of the same name.  I have to say I was blown away by the talented acting and the thought-provoking script.  There are three more performances scheduled and I highly recommend those in the Louisville area to squeeze one in this weekend.  Information can be found here.

Even if you can not make this particular performance, the general idea is still there.  The local arts have a lot to offer us, check out local publications for locations and times of shows, performances etc.  I think you will be pleasantly surprised and you can always tape the latest real housewives.

Sports
I was recently offered the opportunity to write for Strait Cards, a local site dedicated to my Louisville Cardinals.  I am trying to balance writing Proctor's Type with writing for them some and it is a work in progress.  I did manage to get one article up so far.  Peep it here , it relates some current Cardinal players to this past weekend's Oscar nominees.  Please be on the look out for future Strait Cards stuff from your's truly.

Tool of the Week
Reader's Pick
That is right, this week I am letting my readers select their own personal Tool of the Week.  I can imagine someone reading the Tool of the Week week after week and saying "he should pick this guy".  Well here is your opportunity.  Please use the comments section of this entry (preferred) or the Facebook link to tell me who your tool of the week is and why they deserve such an honor.  The best TOW candidates will be posted in next week's And on the 4th Day.  Be creative and keep in mind the TOW can be an actual person, an animal, an inanimate object or just a general person with traits you do not appreciate.  

Beer of the Week
Old Rasputin Imperial Stout

Although my Top Ten Beer has frequent shifting, adding and subtracting, a select few are main stays.  North Coast Brewing's Old Rasputin is certainly one of those.  Old Rasputin is a pitch black, 9% abv, delicious Goliath.  After having a few I was blown away to find that Old Rasputin has 75 IBUs, the coffee and roasted barley flavors drown that bitterness out quite easily.  This beer comes in 4 packs for a reason, drinking much more Old Rasputin than that would lead to a prolonged snoring nap.  For added fun, try it somewhere on nitrous draught.