Thursday, March 8, 2012

And on the 4th Day...

Proctor's World
I would like to start by thanking my readers for helping me to surpass a milestone.  After last week's "And on the 4th Day..." Proctor's Type surpassed 10,000 page views.  When I started a little over a year ago I did not know how much I would enjoy blogging and if I was just going through a phase.  It turns out I love writing Proctor's Type and for the most part look forward to a few hours brainstorming and typing every week.  Readership has gone up overall and I have a solid group of 50 or so who are checking in weekly.

My next goal is to finally reap the financial benefits of blogging.  I am only $20 away from reaching my first $100 threshold payout!  Certainly not going to make me rich but you can bet I am going to buy $100 worth of the coolest shit imaginable (beer).  Actually check that...I am going to buy $50 worth of beer and make a $50 donation to the Humane Society of Kentucky.  How am I making this ridiculous amount of cash?   It comes from people reading my blog (impressions) and ad revenue.

Once again Thank You

Weight Watchers update:  0.6 up this week.  I had an active week and stayed within my points so I think the slightly heavier weigh-in was pay back for a little cheating I did before last week's weigh-in.

Our World
Who does not love a good drinking game every now and then?  Mindless drinking to excess based on flimsy "rules" is a sure ticket to a night of fun.  Unfortunately, these games tend to get old quickly.  With this in mind, I have decided to make a few new drinking games based on television programs for you all to enjoy.  Here are a few basic rules:
1.  Do not drive after playing
2.  A "drink" is approximately one ounce of beer or malt liquor, these are more common.
3.  A "shot" is a shot of liquor, these are less common.
4.  A "chug" is a continuous gulping of beer or malt liquor for a specified amount of time.

1.  Take a shot every time Adam reacts emotionally and hastily to a situation then later apologizes and makes things right.
2.  Chug for the entirety of every one of Max's tantrums.
3.  Take a drink every time Julia's career as a lawyer is mentioned.
4.  Did Sarah just let someone take advantage of her?  Take a drink.
5.  If Joel ever does anything wrong take a shot.
6.  Anytime anyone is at the breakfast place take a shot of maple syrup.
7.  If Zeke's form of tough love turns out to be successful take a drink.
Super Drunk Bonus:  Take a shot every time someone says "family".

Criminal Minds 
1.  Take a drink every time an inference is correctly made based on an agent's behavioral science training.
2.  Take a shot every time an incorrect inference is made.
3.  Is that a smile on Hotchner's face?  Take a shot.
4.  Chug for the entire time that takes place between the killer holding their ultimate prize hostage and the team arriving on the scene and talking the killer down.
5.  Did one of the agents just get captured?  Take a shot.
6.  Did an agent survive a gun shot?  Take a shot.
7.  Take a drink every time someone says "Quantico"
8.  Take a drink every time Morgan says something "cute" to Garcia and vice-versa
Super Drunk Bonus-  If you are not sure if an episode is new or from a few years ago within the first five minutes of the show, double all of your drinks.
Close enough, this will cost you a shot

Grey's Anatomy
I do not watch this one as much but I am pretty sure these rules will still apply
1.  Take a drink every time a specific surgery is mentioned
2.  Did a surgery with a <10% chance of working work?  Take a shot.
3.  Take a shot at every instance of obvious medical malpractice.
4.  Chug during the entirety of every sex in a medical closet scene.
5.  If Yang's drive to be a professional surgeon is causing problems in her personal life take a shot.
6.  Did either Grey say or do something stupid?  Take a drink.
7.  If Alex shows his softer side take a drink.
8.  Did an intern just get treated like crap?  Take a drink.
Super Drunk Bonus:  Chug during the entirety of every montage featuring dramatic scenes and a trendy singer-songwriter song in the background.

Sports will no longer be featured in And on the 4th Day...
I will occasionally post special entries on the world of sports as well as begin writing for and
Be on the lookout for a full MLB preview with a drinking game for each team.

Tool of the Week
I opened up TOTW to the readers last week and received some excellent candidates.  It was too hard to pick just one so I will present three reader-selected Tools of the Week:

-Happy from Fairdale commented:
"My tool of the week candidate is Andrew Schiff. The story that quoted him discussing "the hardships" of having your salary drop to $350k went viral. His follow-up was that he is on the low payment rung of his company and just trying to live as a middle class New Yorker. I know NYC is an expensive place, but nowhere in America is $350k considered middle class. The guy has a summer home and his kids are in private school for heaven's sake. I'll give it to him that the economy has effected his income, but does it really give him the right to complain like that with so many unemployed?"

Excellent Choice Happy but you're too nice...Fuck Him.

-Tim from Chicago chose a commercial character:

That Progressive Insurance guy with the mustache. He needs to back the fuck off with his meter feeding, toll paying, bag check reimbursement ways. That is not at all what it's like to switch insurance companies. Isn't Flo enough, Progressive? Or do we need a guy who unrealistically forces down a false notion of money in my pocket thanks to switching insurance?

Well Said.

-Will from Spain (interestingly also nominated for TOTW) chose Bob Morris, a state representative from Indiana:

Try as I might to make this dumbass sound even more Tool than he already is, I cannot defeat his own words:

Nice hair, dipshit
-Two readers Paul and Melissa both from Louisville nominated the hateful blob that is Rush Limbaugh but that is just too easy.  Melissa said it best:
" Rush Limbaugh? But he's for sure tool of the millenium, so maybe let someone else 'win'. Perhaps... I can't think of anyone, my heart burns with anger. "


Beer of the Week
Dos Equis Amber, draft 32 oz. w/ lime

This should be your only choice when going to a Mexican restaurant.  If they do not have Dos Equis Amber or if it not on draft or if they do not offer the 32 oz. serving do not go there.

1 comment:

  1. You are so dead on with Grey's anatomy. Drinking to These rules while watching would be tantamount to suicide by bottle-- ala' Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegs. I'd like to add that the only reason I know this is b/c of my wife's obsession. Proctor's type FTW!