2013: Year in Review

Hey Everybody!  Holy smokes, 2013 sure did fly by.  I would make the "I just now started writing the right year on my checks" joke, but that is not funny and I rarely write checks.  Right now I am rewarding myself with a break from writing my forthcoming article for my school's Journal of Animal and Environmental Law (2115 of the 6250 words required, over 1/3 of the way home).  One does not realize the value of just getting to make shit up for a blog and not having to cite anything until they have to do the exact opposite.  So, without further ado, here is hodgepodge review of 2013:

ProctorsType.com

I want to start by thanking all of you who read by blog.  Some of you all have even told me you enjoy it, which is the ultimate compliment.  Now after three years and nearly 100 posts, I can announce that ProctorsType has earned its first $100.  And as promised on March 8th, 2012, I made a $50 online donation to the Kentucky Humane Society (reminder, if you want to do the same it is the last day for 2013 tax purposes), and will spend $50 on beer today.  

Here are the 5 most viewed posts of 2013:

1.  So this is the world? - A guest blog by Crosby Jane Proctor

2.  Man Baby Shower

3.  Baby en route

4.  Crosby's Masterpiece Theater

5.  Attention Hipsters, Please Move to Detroit

There are a couple things that are strange about this list to me. There does not seem to be any theme among the subjects of each entry and the glaring absence of the incomplete, immensely popular top 10 NBA players/Cheap Domestic Beers series.

Top 5 of 2013

1a.  The birth of our beautiful, healthy daughter/blogger Crosby Jane Proctor

The Real Deal

Legit

1b.  The U of L Cardinals winning the 2013 Men's Basketball NCAA Championship (and getting cool commemorative stuff)

Dad had the bubbly on ice because we had not drank enough to that point

2.  Laura's Trip to Israel/Palestine

This obviously was not as special for me.  All I did for the two weeks was go to class and throw down a few too many at Ben's down the street.  But Laura, while pregnant, was given this once in a life time opportunity and seized it.  Her experiences and lessons learned will resonate with her and our family for years to come.

3.  Man Baby Shower

Law school friends, make-your-own nachos, legit man gits for baby, brewskies.  The best party ever. 

Redd's, brah

 Read about it here.

Most of the Group

4.  Pizza Pilgrimage

I exited my 20s with a whole week of pizza, which is appropriate because I fucking love pizza.  Accompanying the delicious pizza each night were various groups of family/friends and many beers.

The Lineup:

Monday:  BJ's Brewhouse

Tuesday:  Hometown Pizza

Wednesday: Puccini's

Thursday: Lil' Caesar's and Stones at the crib (economy night)

Friday: Iroquois Pizza

Saturday: New Albanian Public House

Sunday: Dominoe's at parents house

Monday: Boombozz

Even the cake was pizza...

5.  Mini Marathon

I certainly did not break any speed records, but I ran the whole thing and did not stop.  After getting burned out on training, I had not ran more than 8 miles before I threw down 13.1.  I subsequently threw down a bunch of free Mich Ults because apparently not everyone uses their free beer coupon (major head-scratcher).

3 Best Jams of 2013

1.  The Killers- Shot at the Night

This song is a throw in with their new greatest hits album.  The song and video are so awesome, it almost makes me forgive them for lazily releasing a greatest hits album.  

2.  Miley Cyrus- Wrecking Ball

Say what you want, this song is fantastic and addicting.  The vocal is powerful and flawless.  I am linking the lyric video just to be on the safe side.

3.  Demi Lovato- Heart Attack

I do not know if I can defend this one.

3 Good Things About Law School

When you are in law school, you hear a lot of complaining.  It is hard.  Sometimes you do not get the grades you want.  Despite this, I like to stay positive by always keeping in mind what I like about school.

1.  Lunch

Going out to lunch is awesome.  Crawfish etouffee dip and chips at J Gumbos, Nachos at McAllisters, Goat Cheese and Banana Pepper lunch deal at boombozz, Nachos at Qdoba, cookies from Panera.  FTW

2.  Being an Academic Fellow

I have the opportunity to be an adviser of sorts with first year students and I love it.  It is fun getting to know my group and hopefully helping them navigate the difficult first year of law school.  The pay is not great, but it is better than 0 and I would probably do it for free.  Plus, my group (the best group) got Crosby some fun gifts and me a study candle (inside joke).  

3.  Working with the Legal Aid Society

This summer I worked as an Iolta Fellow with the Legal Aid Society of Louisville.  I gained invaluable experience, met some great people (attorneys and clients alike) and helped impoverished clients with legal issues.  

Happy New Year everyone!  Keep it real in the 1-4

Go Cards! 5 Things: A Little Perspective & My Predictions for UK basketball game and Russell Athletic Bowl

Note:  I am currently watching the 2013 Sugar Bowl on DVD, safe to say I am fairly jacked.

1.  Appreciate Where You Came From

Is there anything more obnoxious than when someone forgets where they came from?  Can you stand when someone who did not have much comes into a little money and all of the sudden nothing is good enough for them anymore?  Or how about when a Keystone Light drinker tries a few micro-brews and transforms into a  self-professed beer connoisseur? (Wait, that's me.)

Although I understand their sentiment, I simply cannot agree with the flocks of Cardinal fans who are disappointed with this football season.  I have heard the terms "waste" and "purgatory" thrown away to describe this season.  Must I remind you where the U of L football program was just a few years ago?  We lost to Kentucky four years in a row. Louisville was not invited to a bowl for three straight years.  Discipline problems were rampant and the team was not graduating its players.

So now we are upset that we lost ONE game?  Our Bowl Game is not good enough?  The VICTORIES are not by enough points?  Let's reflect on what this team has accomplished and not focus on what they did not do.  This team has won 11 games.  This team beat UK for the third year in a row.  This team is playing in an interesting bowl game against a future ACC foe.  With a win in the bowl game, Louisville could finish as a top 15 team.  And last but not least, U of L went down to Cincy and took the Keg of Nails for the foreseeable future.  

I know there has been disappointment.  U of L lost a game they should have won, and with that missed out on a BCS bowl.  But that is football, sometimes you lose, and Louisville is doing that a lot less than they were just a few years ago.  This season is fun, we are fans, let's enjoy it.  

How good is DeVante?  Photo from the Courier Journal

2.  All time Louisville athlete Mount Rushmore:

In my opinion, today we are watching two of the four athletes who should be carved into the mountain.  Based on achievements at U of L, my mount Rushmore is:  Darrell Griffith, Pervis Ellison, Teddy Bridgewater, Russ Smith.  I am sure some of you all think I am crazy.  Please comment with your Mount Rushmore, should be fun.

3.  Mike Greenberg is a stubborn jackass.

I  just finished watching the Sugar Bowl for the 3rd time.  Every time I watch, I think back to the Mike and Mike radio show the morning after.  Greeny said he "knew" that if this game had been played in November, Florida would have won.  So basically, when he said Florida would win there is no way he could have been wrong.  If Louisville won, he was not wrong (like he normally is), Florida simply did not try, so his prediction was effectively an "N/A". What is so hard about saying "wow, who saw that coming?  I guess I should have actually watched U of L play before saying they did not stand a chance".

Normally I am not prone to react to his ridiculous hyperbole.  He says he is objective, but it does not make him so.  He wants to be right and he was simply wrong, again.  Florida absolutely was trying from the very first time they blew Teddy up and knocked his helmet off.  From that point on they were out-coached, out-played, and it was shown that Louisville had the best player on the field playing the most important position in the game.  Greenberg can be entertaining at times, but this take of his was just ludicrous.

4.  U of L v. UK Prediction

I, like everyone else and Vegas, believe this is a toss up.  Therefore I will say U of L wins just because I think they play more as a team at this point.  77-71, Cardinal Victory.  I will go with a wildcard and say Terry Rozier is the player of the game, 15 Points, 9 Rebounds, 4 Assists.  Obviously, UK is good and getting better, so I could be totally wrong.  We will see which team is more prepared.

Picture courtesy of here

5.  U of L v. Miami Russel Athletic Bowl Prediction

I feel much more comfortable picking Louisville to win their bowl game than their rivalry basketball game.  U of L will ride their Cincy victory momentum to a 31-20 victory.  Teddy player of the game:  250 yards passing, 3 TD.  

You will be missed.  Photo courtesy of here

GO CARDS!  Fans, let's enjoy today, it should be a lot of fun. 

The real deal

My Sincerest Apology

I need to come clean to my readers and the world.  For the past few months I have been telling people that the Kroger and/or Target generic version of the frozen California Pizza Kitchen pizza is just as good as the original.  This is simply not true.  

I had the CPK 4 cheese tonight and it was so legit.  Cooking at the recommended time and temperature produced the perfect amount of crispness in the crust and brown spots on parts of the cheese.  There are two types of mozzarella involved, one of which is placed in one inch circular patterns throughout the pizza, so each slice has one bite with a loaded mozz surprise.  

I could go on and on, but I just recommend you go get one and enjoy it for yourself.  I do not know what I was thinking spreading those lies.  I guess I was just trying to have a "unique take" or something.  Maybe I was trying to be a pizza hipster.  Whatever the case, I made an absolute ass of myself and for that I apologize.

The Great DVD Purge of 2013

For years I have collected DVDs.  It was comforting to know that I would always have access to movies and television series that I enjoyed for years and years to come.  However, between Netflix, law school, and becoming a dad, I am realizing more and more that I will never sit down and watch the majority of my DVD collection.  With this in my mind, I began to consider what I could do with my DVDs.

Previously, I had sold 75 or so that I knew I did not want to some guy on Craig's List for $75.  He then informed me of his master plan to flip them for big bucks.  I wonder how that worked out.  Anyone who wants to buy DVDs is not going to pay a lot for them these days, so I decided against selling them.  Instead, I decided to give the bulk of my DVDs, along with an old DVD player to United Crescent Hill Ministries here in Louisville.  They will be able to share the DVDs with those who will be entertained by them.

Of course, this is going to be harder than it sounds.  It is difficult to give away a chunk of my only current "collection" of anything.  In the same manner as a hoarder on TV gets rid of things, I decided to allow myself to pick out my favorite DVDs to keep, while getting rid of the rest.  Of course, I am going to blog about it as I go as a form of therapy.  Here is my challenge:

I can only keep enough of these:

That the remaining fit on this shelf:

Of note:  I will not get rid of any DVDs that came along with my marriage, but I do not have to fit them on the shelf either.  I have quite a process ahead of myself.  To ease this difficulty, I am going to break the process into steps.  

Step One:  Fill the top shelf with my absolute favorite movies...

That was pretty easy. One problem is I do not not know where my Memento, Pulp Fiction or Badlands DVDs are.  However, the good news is I have two copies of Goodfellas, so one of the best films of all time will be headed UCHM's way.  (Note to UCHM, Goodfellas is probably not for children).

Step Two:  Start the second row with my must-have sport and music DVDs...

Hint, hint to anyone looking to buy me a Christmas gift, I can leave some space on this shelf for:  Springsteen and I, the 1986 and 2013 Louisville national title games, the 2007 Orange Bowl, and Super Bowls XXXVI and XXXVIII.  What am I saying?  I am supposed to be reducing my DVDs.

Step Three:  Fill the bottom shelf with TV series I know I want to keep...

Uh oh.  This may be a problem.  We have some Parenthood, The Office, Justified and OH WAIT!

Phew...

Step Four:  Start getting rid of some instead of saving them...

Hmmmm...this is probably not enough.

These should go...right?

Ok, I really did get rid of a bunch.  Time to save some more.

Step 5:  I am going to save my favorite western and war movies and put them on a section of shelf two...

I know Justified is not technically a Western, but it is awesome

This freed up some space on the top shelf for some absolute favorite additions:

Step Six:  Save the few Blu Rays because they are the future (lol)...

Step Seven:  Save the extremely funny and extremely violent movies to balance each other out...

Of note:  Laura insisted on putting Dodgeball in the hilarious section

Step Eight:  Debate and debate to settle on the last eight or so spots on the shelf...

Super Survivor: Al Pacino

I would be lying if I said that was easy.

Goodbye friends

Luckily, I am still prepared for when the time comes where I have weeks and weeks of absolutely no responsibilities and I cannot leave the house.

Proctor's Type Guide to the Holidays: Legit Jams for a Great Cause

Readers of Proctor's Type and friends of mine all know how much I enjoy the rock band The Killers.  They are simply fantastic.  And every year the Killers help get me in the Christmas spirit with their annual Christmas song.  Not only are the Christmas songs witty and fun, 100% of the proceeds from purchases of the song go to Red, an organization that is working to eliminate HIV in babies around the world.

Photo Courtesy of here

My challenge to readers is to watch one, two, or all of the YouTube videos I have linked below.  The videos are very entertaining and many feature special guests.  If you enjoy one or all of the songs, please buy them. Please remember the money is for an excellent cause (note: all songs available on iTunes, some on Amazon). Most of the songs are $1.29 and the EP of the 2006-2011 songs is $5.99.  Basically, you can get the whole deal for around $11.

The 2006-2011 songs are all available on one EP called "Red":

iTunes: buy here

2006: A Great Big Sled ft. Toni Halliday

iTunes: Buy "A Great Big Sled" Here

Amazon: Buy "A Great Big Sled" Here

2007: Don't Shoot Me Santa ft. Ryan Pardey

*This is my personal favorite

iTunes: Buy "Don't Shoot Me Santa" Here

Amazon: Buy "Don't Shoot Me Santa" Here

2008: Joseph, Better You Than Me ft. Elton John and Neil Tennant

iTunes: Buy "Joseph, Better You Than Me" Here

Amazon: Buy "Joseph, Better You Than Me" Here

2009: Happy Birthday Guadalupe ft. Wild Light and Mariachi El Bronx

iTunes: Buy "Happy Birthday Guadalupe!" Here
Amazon: Buy "Happy Birthday Guadalupe!" Here

2010: Boots ft. Dialogue from "It's a Wonderful Life"

iTunes: Buy "Boots" Here
Amazon: Buy "Boots" Here

2011: The Cowboy's Christmas Ball (lyrics from 1890 poem of the same name)

iTunes: Buy "The Cowboy's Christmas Ball" Here

2012: I Feel It In My Bones ft. Ryan Pardey

iTunes: Buy "I Feel It In My Bones" Here

2013: Christmas in L.A. ft. Dawes
*My 2nd favorite, Owen Wilson is awesome in the video

iTunes: Buy "Christmas in L.A." Here

iTunes: Buy the Video of "Christmas in L.A." Here

Crosby's Guide to the Holidays: The Spirit of Christmas

Upon hearing that Dad's first two tips for "Guide to the Holidays" were something about potato chips and candles, I decided to once again take over his blog and share a little about what I have learned about Christmas in my short time on this Earth.

I have been told that we are coming up on a time of the the year called Christmas.  Mom is playing music that is specially made for Christmas, Dad is burning candles that supposedly "smell like Christmas", and everyone has been telling me about how special this time of year is.  Apparently Jesus was born on Christmas a long, long time ago.  Because of this, we commemorate his birth by spending time with family and friends, practicing peace, forgiving one another, and being generous with our blessings.  We celebrate cozied up by the fire, have joyous parties, and churches everywhere have special worships (I have been told Crescent Hill Presbyterian has the "best" Christmas Eve service).  And of course Dad is spouting off about "Christmas cold ones" and legit NBA basketball.  Last but not least, some friends and family give one another gifts.  Wait...more gifts?!?

Do not get me wrong, I love gifts!  I have been given so many fun and cute things by my generous family and friends.  I have the cutest outfits, fun toys, bouncy chairs to chill in, and even some sports stuff that my dad gets all excited about.  People have even made me stuff.  Heck, my Grandparents can not seem to make a visit without presenting me with something new and fun.  I cannot wait to see all the amazing gifts I will get for Christmas.  But what about those other babies out there who do not get gifts on Christmas?  Unfortunately, many children right in our own city go without gifts.  In fact, many of these kids do not even have warm clothes to wear.  I decided I wanted to help them, it is Christmas after all.

I got on my Ipad (joke, I do not want one of those until next year) and did some research.  It turns out the Salvation Army has a program (Angel Tree) where you can buy gifts for a child or family who need a little help.  That is when I got an idea.  Every year I will select a child about my age from the Angel Tree and we will give them fun, cute stuff just like I get!  Of course this year I am a little limited in my mobility, so I commanded Mom "go get an angel off of the angel tree and get them awesome stuff so they can have a special Christmas!"  She replied "well are you going to stay here with Dad and watch football?"  "Ugh, I guess."

As has been typical in the Proctor household since my birth, it turns out we waited until the last minute, and it was the last day to get an Angel.  Now on a mission, Mom selected the Angel and went on one of her patented Target shopping sprees all in one fell swoop.  I was so excited when she got back.  What does the special baby get?!?

That looks cute, but let me get a closer look...

Perfect!  She is going to love her gifts!  Good job mom!  Now I think I get this whole Christmas thing.  Oh yeah, apparently I wear special Christmas clothes too...

Merry Christmas everyone!  

If you decide you want to help a family enjoy a warm holiday meal, you can do so at Kroger: http://www.kroger.com/community/Pages/salvation_army.aspx

And last but not least, Carl, Ichiro and Bagheera want me to remind you all that you can also help animals in need with the pet angel tree!  Check it out: http://www.nokill-louisville.com/pet-angel-trees

Proctor's Type Guide to the Holidays: Candle of the Year 2013

To see the first installment of Proctor's Type Guide to the Holidays click here.

Who does not love a good Christmas scent?  This candle is 100% Proctor's Type approved:

Action Shot

Trust me.  This is the candle to have.  It is called Spiced Wreath by Bath and Body Works.  You can purchase at your local brick and mortar or go here to order online.  Great deal right now on the 3 Wicks, 2 for $22.

Proctor's Type Guide to the Holidays: Do Not Fear Being the Chip Guy (or Girl)

The potluck time of the year is upon us.  The holidays begin and everyone wants to get together to gorge themselves.  As we all know, the potluck involves everyone bringing a certain food item to share, some are a free-for-all, while others involve the infamous sign-up sheet.  Today I would like to give all of my readers the first tip of the inaugural "Proctor's Type Guide to the Holidays":  do not be afraid to bring chips to the potluck.  Some people feel like they need to slave over a hot stove for hours preparing their "famous" something or other.  Do not be that person.  Bring some chips.

The truth is chips are fucking awesome.  Everyone loves chips.  They taste good, are full of nutritious oils, and can function as a side or appetizer.  Sure, you may look like you did not put in as much effort as others who "whipped something up from scratch", but the end result will be just as on point, maybe even more so.  You can get multiple bags of chips, in a variety of flavors, all the while keeping the tab under $10 and freeing up time and funds for more important endeavors (pre-gaming the potluck).  

I recently was presented with a sign-up sheet for a pot-luck at school, and to make matters worse it was in the form of a Google doc.  Needless to say, the hosts of this potluck were not messing around.  I needed to sign up for something quickly and not have it be a repeat of something someone has already signed up for.  DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU SIGN UP TO BRING SOMETHING TO A POTLUCK THAT SOMEONE HAS ALREADY SIGNED UP FOR?!?  Thankfully, this has never happened in the history of potlucks.  However, every potluck ends up with a 10-1 brownie ratio per attendee.  It is one of life's great mysteries.

Anyway, it was crunch time and I needed to sign-up for something.  But when will I have time to cook between school and a baby?  Can I sign up for something in the hopes Laura will make it even though she is just as busy?  I was stuck.  That is when I manned up.  I tabbed over to Excel column B next to my name and started typing, C-H-I-P-S.  I then looked down and saw that the Google doc was locked or something and I was not actually typing anything.  Undeterred, I told one of the hosts "put me down for legit chips", loud enough so that everyone around could hear it.  Of course she was not impressed and put me down for "chips".  COME ON!  I am Eric Proctor!  Like I am going to just roll into the potluck with a bag of Mike Sell's or something.  I said LEGIT chips and that is just what I delivered, check these bad boys out:

That's right, Kettle Cooked.  I certainly was not jacking around.  Three loud, bold flavors with pictures of the ingredients on the bag.  Who is just bringing "chips" now?  Not to mention, the bags were all stamped $3.49 which gave the impression I threw out some serious dough to make this potluck special.  In reality they were each $2.49 on sale, but no need to tell them that.  

Of course things got poppin' at the ol' potluck as soon as everyone was crunching on the no artificial preservatives S & Vs (that is salt and vinegar for you amateurs).  People were slugging soda after the spicy jalapeno hit their lips, and last but not least everyone learned quickly not to ask for "barbecue" chips.  That's MESQUITE BBQ bruh, show some respect.

Want a similar success story?  Be bold.  Sign up to bring chips to the potluck.