Thursday, January 26, 2012

And on the 4th Day...

Proctor's World
I lost another 4.6 pounds bringing my total lost to 10.2 since I started Weight Watchers on January 2nd.  I am very happy with the program and with myself.  I have allowed myself to eat a couple not so healthy things and drank some beer, all the while losing some weight.  Tracking and being held accountable are by far the most important tasks in my weight loss journey and I have been fortunate enough to be married to someone who assists in both.  It is exciting to me that as I contemplate what is going on in my world the first thing that comes to mind is Weight Watchers and exercise.

Our World
We all know about "Eat This, Not That", a popular Men's Health article that has turned into a series of cookbooks and meal guides.  Eat this, not that helps readers make healthy decisions at restaurants and at home by showing which of two seemingly comparable food items are better for you.  Unfortunately this craze has created many ETNT amateurs.  I was recently reading a Yahoo article by some want-to-be ETNT "expert" in which I learned that eating a single plain Hamburger from McDonald's is better for you than eating a Quarter Pounder with cheese.  Really?  You mean to tell me that a much smaller portion of a greasy hamburger without cheese and mayonnaise  has less fat and fewer calories than its huge counterpart?  I think I may have already known this, oh yeah, that's because it is the most obvious thing in the world!  I think I will try my hand at Eat This, Not That...

At Cheesecake Factory:
Eat This: A glass of water
Not That: A huge piece of cheesecake
The huge piece of cheesecake is loaded with calories, sugar and fat.  Drink a glass of water instead, it will leave you feeling hydrated and save you 900 calories.

Eat This: 3 Pancakes
Not That:  All you can eat pancakes (>3)
Eating three pancakes versus gorging yourself on as many as you can swallow can save you an infinite amount of calories depending on how many pancakes you can eat beyond three.

At the Gas Station:
Drink This: Vitamin Water
Not That: Gasoline
If you opt for the vitamin water you will get the daily recommended amount of several important vitamins and elude the almost certain death that would come from drinking gasoline.

The Patriots are going to the Super Bowl!  The Tigers signed Prince!  WHHHHEEEEWWW!
This has been one of the best sports weeks in a long, long time.  Quick thoughts on both:

This year's Patriots team is the first in some time that I really did not think had a chance to go to the Super Bowl.  I thought the defense really was too weak and that the lack of a deep threat wide-out would come back to haunt them.  That goes to show how much I know!  This team's road to the Super Bowl was littered was injuries, doubt and question marks, but in the end Brady and Belichick's greatness shown through again (with help from stud TEs and a rag-tag defense).  Convincing myself that this season is still remarkable if they lose the big one has been difficult, but I think I have succeeded.  We will have to wait a couple weeks to get my Super Bowl reaction, but as of right now I could not be happier.  If the Patriots can avenge their loss to the Giants, I think this will be the greatest of all of their championships.
I could not find a picture of Prince Fielder holding up a jersey or anything so I put up this sweet picture of the Tiger's mascot.  If you read last week I wrote that Alfonso Soriano might help fill the hole in the lineup after V-Mart's injury...ALFONSO SORIANO, I was so desperate and grasping for anything.  I could never have imagined the Tigers would get Prince Fielder.  I am worried about Miggy moving to 3rd, but I will give him the benefit of the doubt when he says he is going to get in better shape.  The lineup could use a better on base guy on top, but I am splitting hairs now.  The thought of managers having to burn a righty and a lefty late in games to pitch to Miguel and Prince has me amped, MLB 2012 can not come soon enough.  

Tool of the Week
Death Threat Guy
After Kyle Williams from the 49ers fumbled away a punt return that eventually allowed the Giants to win the NFC championship and go to the Super Bowl he received death threats.  Let us read that again...Kyle Williams, a professional football player, fumbled a football and received DEATH THREATS.  These threats did not come from teammates, coaches or anyone who was actually affected professionally from the 49ers  loss, they came from a "fan".  

Basically, a cowardly loser was so upset that his favorite football team lost a football game that he felt it necessary to threaten the life of a player from a team he supposedly "loves".  I do not know where to begin with this: the over reaction?  the cowardice?  the audacity?  the pathetic life of the loser threatening?  I am very tired of hearing death threats.  Does Death Threat Guy anonymously threaten death in other meaningless scenarios?  If the Barista at Starbucks puts too much creamer in DTG's coffee does he think that act deserves a death telegram?  Is his first thought after having gas spill when returning the pump to its holster that someone needs to have their life in question?  In that scenario who gets the death threat: the manufacturer of the car or gas pump?  the attendant?  all of them?

In all seriousness DTG is a tool and one of these days the threat is going to lose its anonymity and DTG's ass is going to jail to spend time with guys who did a lot more than threaten.  

Beer of the Week
BBC Kashmir Godzilla IPA
After all of the shakeup with the BBC brewers and a couple of recent visits I was concerned that my favorite local brewery was losing its touch.  All of that doubt was erased last night when I went to the St. Matthews location to watch the U of L game.  I had an excellent Cardinal Ale, which was a smooth red with a hint of sweetness.  Then I had the Kashmir Godzilla IPA which was a monster.  81 IBUs and around 8% abv is certainly worthy of a Godzilla moniker.  The immense hops were balanced with a sweet, almost fruity finish.  BBC is back! FTW

Thursday, January 19, 2012

And on the 4th Day...

Proctor's World
Speaking of exercise, I was .4 lbs up at my Weight Watchers weigh in.  I am not going to fret because I stayed within my points, weighed in at 6 p.m. as opposed to the normal 10 a.m. and I was fresh off a vacation weekend.  This is a marathon, not a sprint.

Last note about me:  I am retiring my original @proc5000 twitter account today.  I am sure many of you will miss my live tweeting of saved by the bell re-runs, saying which #pacers and #cardinals are #wet, and #tebowner updates.  We will always have those memories.  Please follow @proctorstype, my blog/twitter thing.

Our World
I bought Laura a Pandora bracelet as a gift for our wedding.  She has a dog charm, a cat charm, a pumpkin representing our wedding and a decorative wooden charm.   She loves it.  Mission accomplished, that should be the end of it right?  Then why am I so jealous?  

Why do women get to wear jewelry with a bunch of cool shit on it?  Men should be afforded the same opportunities, that is why I propose Mandora.  Mandora will revolutionize the charm bracelet business by appealing to the other half of the population.  Obviously Mandora is going to be more than men wearing Pandora bracelets. 

Mandora will be designed by men for men.  Bracelet options include barb wire, figaro and electrical wire.  You can purchase charms with your favorite sports teams, power tools or muscle cars.  Recently lost your virginity?  Grab the x-rated "became a man" charm!  Have you recently been arrested?  You can choose from the handcuff charm or the brand new "get out of jail free" charm (if acquitted).  You can save money on charms by purchasing the beer bottle cap Mandora puncher!  Simply take the cap off of a beer, drink it, then punch a hole in the top that will fit perfectly on your Mandora bracelet.  Many men purchase numbered charms representing their max bench press, beers drank record or horsepower in the Camaro.  

So stop staring at your wife's Pandora bracelet and wishing you were her.  Get a Mandora today!  Also be on the lookout for the Emo Mandora line featuring the broken heart, "it's ok to cry" and "I hate my life" charms.

Weekly readers may have noticed that two weeks ago I made my playoff NFL picks and last week did not.  Oops.  Lets just pretend I picked them all correctly.  This week I will take my Patriots (there's no such thing as jinxing, there's no such thing as jinxing...) 31-17 over the Baltimore Ravens and the Giants over the 49ers 28-24.
Victor Martinez tearing his ACL was not something I was expecting to start what looks to a be a promising Tigers spring training/season.  I would not mind bringing Soriano over to add some power to the 5 hole as long as the Cubs eat most of that huge contract.  He is nowhere near V Mart's average or OBP but hits many more HRs.  I can remember many instances where Miguel gets on and singles/doubles not getting him in, maybe Soriano can blow a few out to add much needed runs.
Remember at the beginning of the season when arguments were being made that this may be the season Kevin Durant surpasses LeBron James as the best player in the world?  Well here comes the aging Kobe with a huge "REMEMBER ME?".  Kobe has put the Lake Show on his shoulders and has them in a position to do damage in the west.  I will still give LeBron the number one spot but I am not ready to definitively give anyone other than Kobe the number two.  Here is my top 5: 1. LeBron 2. Kobe 3. Dwight Howard 4. Durant 5. D Wade

Tool of the Week
Lake Effect Snow
If you are like me you probably thought "Lake Effect Snow" was some bullshit the Weather Channel made up a few years ago to boost their ratings.  We would see some snow on the ground, tap our buddy on the shoulder and say something like "oohhhh I bet that is lake effect snow...wowwww, looks the same to me".  It's all white, it's all wet, it's all cold...what is the damn difference?

Well, it turns out Lake Effect snow is a real thing.  I have seen it and it is a motherfucker.  When winds whip over larger bodies of water from the east, the moon is in its winter solstice and cold fronts meet north of the equator a lake effect is taking place!  This makes it snow hard as hell and could really put a damper on an otherwise normal day.  Lake Effect snow can be dangerous, so please be careful and open-minded.  I know there will still be many of you who do not believe, but please at least be open to the possibility. 

Beer of the Week
Miller Lite

I am sure I am going to get some hate mail for this one.  I will go ahead and give you examples:
"Drink a real beer Pussy!"

"Way to contribute to the problem asshole!  Drink local!"

"It looks the same going in as it does coming out...yellow and fizzy!"

All of the above are good points and noted, but sometimes I really want Miller Lite.  Miller Lite is the perfect beer to drink on a Sunday afternoon if you spent the previous Saturday night downing heavier brews.  Miller Lite is 100x better than Bud Light, whatever that is worth.  It should also be known that Miller Lite is the perfect hangover cure, simply drink three 16 oz. Miller Lite aluminum bottles first thing in the morning after a long night.  You will be partying again in no time.  

Thursday, January 12, 2012

And on the 4th Day...

Quick format update:  As "And on the 4th Day..." continues to grow and evolve I will occasionally make tweaks here and there to hopefully improve it and make it a better read.  This week the first section that was "Faith and Family" will change to "Proctor's World", a more appropriate name for the section about my and my family's life (faith is everywhere, just not in the title).  "Our World" is going to move up to the second section due to its general popularity and because I think my mom (and maybe a few others) have never read past the first section because "Sports" was the second section.

Proctor's World
We have a couple of exciting things going on here at the Proctor Household.  Laura has started a daunting new project in which she makes and gives away a new craft item each week in 2012 (read about it here).  It is going to be a lot of work, but I am sure the smiles it brings to other's faces will make it worthwhile.  The good news for me is that she frequently works on these projects during Pacers games and I can watch Granger and Co. in its entirety.

We also had our first Weight Watcher weigh in Monday and were very pleased with our initial results.  Laura was down 5.6 pounds and I dropped 6.2!  We knew our week one results would be stellar but it is hard to not get doubt in your mind.  What if we started the program and did not lose the first week?  Thankfully, we did not have to worry about that scenario this week, but I am sure that will be the case down the road.  That is when we will just have to stay the course and look forward to the next week.

Our World
Can someone teach me how to use a computer?  Do people still use computers?  I am 28 years old and feel like technology has completely passed me by.  My whole life I was told by parents and teachers that growing up with computers would make them easier for me to use.  Unfortunately that could not be further from the truth.

You would think someone who writes a blog on a computer, took two levels of computer information systems in business school and has a programmer father and network admin mother would know how to do the simplest of functions on a modern PC.  It took me 15 minutes to figure out how to do a word count in Word the other day.  Remember when you could just click on "functions" or something then click on Word Count and there it was?  Now there are 50 different tool bars and one small button on one of those tool bars symbolized by what looks like small numbers will count your words for you.  I am going to law school in the fall, I am going to need to be able to do a damn word count!

When I receive an invite on Outlook and it asks me to "send a response now?" what am I supposed to do? Who is the "response" sent to and what does it say?  Some conference calls are sent to thousands of "guests", if they all responded would not it cause an Inbox blow up?  It would also be nice to figure out how to cancel a recurring event on my calendar so I do not continue to receive reminders to send reports we no longer do to people who no longer work for the company.

I assumed the email problem was solely with Outlook, but now I am having trouble with my personal Gmail.  Why do I open an email and never see any pictures?  I get my Eddie Bauer emails that say something about a once a decade sale and I cannot see what is for sale.  Why is not seeing pictures now a feature of email?  I can remember when seeing pictures was a feature of email!  Someone is going to have to help me out.  I am considering starting a Blog Bruhs Godaddy site to share Proctor's Type with a couple of other guys, but I do not know where to begin.  Can I "export" this blog there?  Will my fucking pictures show up?!?

My fellow Louisville Cardinal fans have to be worrying along with me about the Men's basketball team.  What in the hell happened in the Dunkin' Doughnuts center Tuesday Night?  Losing to Providence by 31 points is not what anyone expected and it has caused a wave of emotional responses from Cards fans.  I heard everything from this being a wake-up call to it being time to show Coach Pitino the door.  Although I am not quite there yet, I am troubled.  In an attempt to show some balance and perspective I will look at the good, bad and ugly to this point in the season:

The Good

The good so far this year is the emergence of Dieng and Behanan as well as our Big East schedule.  When we have Dieng and Behanan on the court we are physical, and we rebound and run the court well.  The Big East schedule can be a gauntlet and we are currently 1-3 but I have a prescription to get us back to .500 in the league in six games:
Cards next six games: Depaul, @ Marquette, @Pitt, Villanova, @ Seton Hall, Rutgers
I think we can hold home court and steal at least one of these road games, considering Pitt just lost at home to Rutgers and I think Seton Hall is a little over-rated.

The Bad
A couple of bad things going on are obviously Siva's play and our front court depth.  I think Siva is hurt and needs to sit out a couple of games to rest his ankle.  He could not dunk the ball in a recent break away, whereas when healthy he is one of the best leapers you will see.  His confidence is down and Pitino is in his head, give him a week or two to rest his ankle and mind.
The larger problem is front court depth.  Dieng gets in foul trouble then we see Buckles and Swopshire come in and not rebound or finish around the rim.  I would like to see a small lineup when Dieng is on the bench.  Siva (or Ware), both Smiths, Kyle at the 4 and Behanan at the 5 would be a problem for teams, and would make the press more effective.

The Ugly
I turned off the Dunkin' Doughnuts disaster with about seven minutes left in the game (I tried to turn it off sooner but I guess I like screaming at the TV).  I would have NEVER turned off last year's squad (remember them?), but they would not have given up and acted like they would rather be anywhere than playing basketball.  I love Preston Knowles but he was not that good.  There is a deeper problem on the team than losing Preston and I can not quite put my finger on it.  Pitino needs to sniff out and fix this team's attitude problem, that is why he makes three million a year.

Tool of the Week
Michael Imperioli
"Remember when guys used to hang out, drink real tequila and talk about sports?"  
FUCK NO!  I do not know what your are talking about Christopher.  I have hung out with guys and talked about sports many times, but I cannot remember a single occasion when anyone was sipping tequila.  Tequila is something women drink when they have their "girl's night" at a Mexican restaurant.  1800 tequila is not manly, it is not sophisticated and it is not any different from Patron whatsoever.  If I am at a bar and scouting tough guys to avoid their choice of tequila does not come in to play.  I would like to remember Imperioli as a main character on one of the greatest television shows ever made, but that is going to be impossible if I see many more of these 1800 commercials while I am watching football (and not drinking tequila).

Beer of the Week
Bell's Best Brown Ale
Weight Watchers is going to force me to drink less beer, thus trying fewer new beers.  With this in mind, I present a classic.  There has never been a more appropriately named beer than Bell's Best Brown Ale.  Every winter I can look forward to the quintessential brown ale.  A perfect balance of dark, smooth and hops (more than usual for a brown) form a permanent member of my top 10 beer list.  A six pack of bottles costs $10-12.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

And on the 4th Day...

Faith and Family
As I wrote about in New Year's Resolutions(here), the weight loss journey has began for the Proctor family.  Laura and I attended our first Weight Watchers meeting this past Monday.  As someone who has gained and lost the same 25 or so pounds multiple times since college, I can say that this time really is going to be different.  The Weight Watchers plan seems to be the perfect combination of flexibility and accountability, allowing you to eat any food (as long as you count the points), but still having you hop on the scale at the meeting the next week.

I do not have any results to report as of yet, but I plan on using Proctor's Type to spread successes/struggles.  I am sure I have some readers who know what it is like to be overweight and just how difficult it can be to lose those pounds.  I welcome any tips from anyone and if I can help anyone stay motivated please let me know.  I suspect 2012 weight loss will present itself in this section for quite awhile, weight loss takes a lot of faith as well as help and support from family.

With the NFL regular season wrapped up, now is the time for predictions and MVP debate.  I considered not making any predictions on Proctor's Type because I am biased towards my Patriots and do not want to jinx them; however I might as well have some predictions out there in the off chance I am correct.  I will start with my wild card weekend selections and move on week to week from there.
Cincinnati 22 Houston 17
New Orleans 41 Detroit 31
Atlanta 28 New York 24
Pittsburgh 21 Denver 13

This years MVP race is one for the ages.  Two different quarterbacks (Brees, Brady) broke Dan Marino's single season passing yardage record.  Aaron Rodgers set the QB rating record.  Drew Brees broke the completion percentage and completions record.  Tom Brady led the team with the league's worst rated defense to a 13-3 record and the number one seed in the AFC.  Matt Stafford threw for over 5000 yards, many of those to Calvin Johnson who led the league in receiving yards despite being constantly double teamed.  Rob Gronkowski broke the all-time records for TD receptions and receiving yards by a TE as well as leading the league in TD receptions.  I have already named six guys without mentioning huge seasons form Ray Rice, Jordy Nelson or Maurice Jones Drew.  With all of this in mind, I am giving the Proctor's Type NFL award to....
Aaron Rodgers

Aaron Rodgers completed 68.3% of his passes for 4643 yards and a TD/INT ratio of 45-6.  He also led his team to a 14-1 record (sat out last game) and was the most consistently dominate player in the NFL this year.  I do not buy into his season being downplayed due to his backup doing well, the same way I do not buy into Peyton Manning as MVP because his team did so shitty without him.  A solid case can be made for Drew Brees or my guy Brady, but in the end I looked at Rodgers lower interception total and made the call.  I know it's splitting hairs but it has been that kind of year.

Our World
This week we play a little game I like to call Over-Rated/Under-Rated/Right where it needs to be.  So many things in our world seem to be over-rated, under-rated or appropriately rated by the masses.  This week we look at bumper stickers/ car decals...

I <3 my (dog breed)
If I see one more I <3 my Bichon Frise sticker on the back on a Mercedes Benz MLK320 SUV, I am going push my grocery cart directly into the driver's side door.  We get it, your taste in dogs is as sophisticated as your taste in cars, jewelry and swinging.  You probably spend more on dog grooming than the average American family does on groceries.  Unfortunately for you, you spent $3000 on a dog that isn't nearly as cool as Carl (here), whom we adopted for $150.

Old Political Race Stickers
No matter what politician they support, it is refreshing to see a little piece of American history still clung to the back of a 1992 Mercury Cougar.  These stickers display wisdom and a desire to say "I was right!" and "I do not care if this faded bumper sticker makes my car look like shit!"

Right where they need to be
Calvin Pissing on Something
These are appropriately rated because they are not highly rated to begin with.  I know they are juvenile, redneck, and crude but at the same time you have to admit they are at least a little funny sometimes.  Plus if you see someone driving a certain brand of car with a sticker of Calvin pissing on that car brand it is hilarious.

Tool of the Week
Guy at the gym in jeans
We have all seen this guy before.  He shows up to the gym wearing blue jeans and he usually has a T Shirt tucked into them.  Often times he has a flat top and is wearing glasses.  No one knows why he has jeans on, but he does.  He is in good shape, so you know he has been to the gym before and knows that his wranglers could damage the equipment and are thus against the rules.  I do not know if wearing jeans to the gym is a bad-ass move, but to me he just looks like a moron.  I want more than anything for the huge steroid guy wearing American flag work-out pants to tell this guy that he can not wear jeans into they gym anymore and end the situation.

Beer of the Week
Murphy's Stout
As you all know I love beer.  I love all kinds of beer for the most part, but one type I have never acquired a taste for is the draught-style stout.  Guinness is the most popular of these and I have long said that I hate Guinness.  After years of sticking to my guns, I have recently decided it is time to give Guinness another go.  After all what kind of beer drinker does not like Guinness?  I decided that before trying Guinness again, I would try a similar beer and came across this beauty.  

I have long been a fan of Murphy's Red and I now love the Stout just as much.  This stout has a rich enough taste but is not necessarily a sipper.  The 16 oz. can goes down smooth and after feeling the nitrous ball roll to my lips, I know it is time for another.  I may have to put trying Guinness on hold until I have a few more of these 4 packs (which only cost me $6.99)