Saturday, June 15, 2013

Baby en route

Word on the proverbial street is that Laura and I are having a baby.  Well, like "most word on the street"s, that is 100% accurate.  Many of our friends and relatives are already well aware of this because Laura is currently 21.5 weeks along.  Our family is fairly "jacked" about the whole ordeal, as are we.  One observations of note is that when people find out there is a baby on the way a flood of questions follow.  In an effort to get these pressing questions answered for everyone, I have decided to dust off the ol' blog and provide a sample Q and A regarding the baby...

1.  Who are the parents?

Just Kidding.

It's me and Laura!

2.  Are you having a boy or a girl?

We have no idea, nor are we going to know until the "baby enters light".  Even if we wanted to know, the Doctor we are working with said determining a baby's gender prior to its birth is impossible.

3.  Do you have a boy's name?

Yes.  A boy will be Miles Atticus Proctor (Monogram:  MAP).  I have had this boy's name selected for at least 10 years.  Laura is on board too.  Choo! Choo!  There is a good chance the Miles train is coming down the tracks!

4.  But what if he is not good at math?

"Atticus" not "Abacus".

5.  Do you have a girl's name?

Kind of.  The leader in the clubhouse is Crosby.  I like girl's name for girls.  Laura likes boy's names for girls.  This has created some confusion.

6.  I really want to get the baby something.  What do you all need the most?

A Miguel Cabrera infant jersey.

7.  Where on Earth would I find such a thing?

8.  Should I order it and have it shipped to you or have it shipped to my home and give it to you in person?

Either way, thanks.

9.  What kind of music are you going to play for the baby?

Really chill shit most of the time like acoustic Springsteen, Mumford and piano ballads.  During play time we will put on some GNR and really rock out.

10.  Are you going to Instagram ( a picture of a banana peel on the baby and hash tag it #bananagram?

Sooner rather than later.