Friday, July 19, 2013

Attention Hipsters, Please Move to Detroit

Yesterday Detroit declared bankruptcy and it became high time for a bunch of internet users who have never been to Detroit to start ripping on it.  The city that was once known as the automobile manufacturing king has lost a lot of people for a variety of reasons.  However, Detroit is still an American symbol in my eyes and to see fellow Americans use an entire city as a punchline just does not make a lot of sense to me.  As a Tigers fan who drives a Jeep and has a wife from Michigan, I am obviously sensitive to Detroit's plight.  With this in mind I thought long and hard (5-6 minutes) about how to get Detroit back on track and it hit me like a big-bodied Buick that gets 7-8 miles to the gallon.  MOVE THE HIPSTERS TO DETROIT!

Think about it hipsters, what would be more ironic than moving to Detroit.  There are plenty of abandoned buildings you could turn into lofts of some kind.  All of the snow in the winter could bring about many fashion opportunities not available in other areas of our country.  You could wear flat-billed Red Wings hats over top of wool hats.  You could get Old English "d" tats as opposed to the traditional uppercase.  Hell, there are entire blocks you could turn into Zucchini fields.  Admit it, it is getting harder and harder to be hip in your current locale, take over a city that needs you.

Young, successful hipsters have developed down-trodden parts of many other large cities.  Reviving the entire D would be their greatest accomplishment yet.  Plus, for those of you who just "don't get it" and did not hear your favorite band until they were on the radio, there is an added bonus of not having hipsters around anymore.  If hipsters can make PBR a beer of choice, bringing back Detroit should be a piece of cake.

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