Wednesday, August 13, 2014

@tree get outta here

I love trees in general, but there is a certain tree I loathe:
Fuck this tree.
This gigantic, worthless tree is in our backyard.  Before we agreed to purchase our home, we had the previous owner cut off some of the large branches that loomed over our house.  However, this was not enough.  Twice in 2014 we have had huge branches fall from this tree during storms.  The losses?  My jeep, a gate/section of fence, roof damage, gutters destroyed (x2), a picnic table, a cracked kitchen ceiling, three insurance deductibles, and last but not least, our premium and deductibles have both been raised. 
Oh don't worry I got another car: a 2002 gold Taurus
Most recently the tree decided it was time to hit the neglected front half of the house:

You would think the insurance company realized that removing the tree would help prevent them from writing check after check for damage that is causes.  But of course, using logic that makes you want to beat your head against the wall, the insurance company said its policy is to wait until the tree falls on its own, which could cause tens of thousands of dollars worth of damage or kill someone, as opposed to paying to have the tree removed before it falls.  THIS TREE SUCKS.  

Bonus shitty stuff about this tree:
1)  It does not lose all of its massive amount of leaves until early December, so it is inevitable that the yard is covered in leaves for the majority of the winter.
2)  In the spring it loses thousands and thousands of what I call "helicopters".  They get stuck on the roof and cover the entire ground.  THIS TREE SUCKS

Well, maybe I should say this tress sucked.  That's right, this tree is no more.  I summoned the quality dudes from T's Tree to come out and do a number on  it.  Here are the results:

No match for T's Trees
Good riddance

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