Sunday, September 11, 2016

"Little Bro is Turning One"- A Guest Blog by Crosby Jane Proctor

Tomorrow is Guy's first birthday, but we are celebrating today. Needless to say, I am pretty excited. Most of the main players (Nana, Grammy, Papa, Papaw etc.) will be here and the treats will be given out willy-nilly. Yours truly will almost certainly be charged with opening all the gifts, primarily because Guy would just try to eat all the wrapping. Unfortunately, Dad will feel the need to intervene with the occasional "now, Crosby, you know those are Guy's gifts, not yours". Yes, Dad, I know that, that is why I am writing it now, six hours before the party. It will not be necessary to reiterate at any point during the party.

As for Dad, he is masquerading as if he is not turning this party into exactly what he wants. First off, Mom told him "hey, your parents want to know if they can bring anything". To which he stammered and replied "uhhh, I guess we could tell them to bring... beer", as if this is some novel idea and he does not always ask his parents to bring beer to every get together. Second, we are having pizza and Dad keeps saying "I'm okay with whatever kind you all want", which sounds like he is being flexible, but is really just a factual statement that he loves all kinds of pizza. Finally, we are having the party in one of his favorite places: the backyard. He will set up the tent for shade, get out the corn-hole boards, and make a playlist of some of HIS favorite music. Fortunately, the over/under on someone asking him to turn the music down is about five minutes.

Despite Dad trying to make the party his own, we all understand that it is for Guy. That is why Mom and I made him his own cake and he is going to get to stay up until 7:30, a whole half-hour past his bedtime. He will get some gifts and probably some cash for his college fund. Hopefully, he gets some kind of scholarship so he can "bonk" beers at some state school and I can use the remainder of his fund to begin my study abroad (Paris). 

Being a one year old is a big deal. I would know because I have been there and done that. You learn to walk around and get some words going, most of which benefit yourself (more, mommy, daddy etc.). One-year-olds have to kick the formula, which is tough at first, but once you go milk, you never go back. The best thing about being one? NO ACCOUNTABILITY! Want to grab a knife? Go for it! Because safety is the primary concern, discipline gets thrown out the window. Sometimes, I long for the days of being one, but then I remember the perk of being two: screen time! The house rules say no TV for Guy. Which makes this picture I snapped while Dad was watching Guy yesterday all the more interesting...
Crosby Jane Proctor is a two year old and a frequent contributor to 

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