Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Hummus: just accept it for what it is

Hummus has been around for a long time. (I guess. I didn't really bother to research it, but it is Greek or something so it is old.) However, hummus has only been a "thing" for a handful of years now. Most grocery stores carry it and it is a frequent appetizer selection at restaurants. But try going to a 1992 Kroger and finding hummus. NOT HAPPENING. Hummus, despite existing for a long time, has only been a mainstream food for about ten years.

So why is it that so many people parade around consuming hummus and saying that have been eating it "forever?" I would very much enjoy splitting a hummus app and not having some asshole bragging about this being his 1000th hummus plate. We get it, you like hummus, can't you just say that without inflating the stats? Even worse is the false hummus connection with a past event. "I remember being a boy, my dad taking me fishing, and us just eating hummus right there on the dock." NO YOU FUCKING DO NOT!

Delicious, but also a source of rage.
On the complete opposite end of the spectrum are people who treat hummus as if it is the latest creation. I was at a ballgame a couple of years ago and Sabra was giving out samples. "Hey, want to try a new healthy snack before the game?" Well, I've had hummus before, but if you want me to act like some dipshit who hasn't in order to get a free snack then I will. Now, let's go back to the hummus app sharing scenario I discussed earlier. "Oh hey, this could be fun, how do you say it, ho, hooo, hoomus?" Its "hummus" jackass and now you've convinced me to get the spinach and artichoke dip.

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