Saturday, August 6, 2016

Men's Multi-Level Marketing

Tonight, my wife is going to a "party" where the host sells a special line of clothing that cannot be purchased in stores. Basically, a friend-of-a-friend's basement becomes a pop-up store and invitees congregate to discuss how "cute" various things are and inevitably make a couple of purchases. The host gets a cut, invitees/customers get something unique that they want, fun is had and friendships are formed. Everyone wins.

This got me thinking, I have never once been invited to something like this. These purchase parties are not just limited to clothes; from kitchen stuff to jewelry to "meal prep" parties, there are plenty of potential invitations to be sent. But I have not received even a pity invite. And that is fine, because, as construed, I would not be interested whatsoever in attending one of these events. On the other hand, anytime one comes up, it trumps whatever "plans" I may or may not have had, so I end up at home with the kids for bedtime.

The reason for the superiority of these parties over my loose and/or nonexistent plans is the structure and planning involved. Invitations are sent, snacks are prepared and if the host is a good enough friend, attendance is basically mandatory. Compare this to "going to Ben's to watch the game" or the even less imperative "going to Ben's to drink beer".  Obviously, my "plans" are going to lose out every time.

With this in mind, we, as uninvited men, need to start our own comparable purchase parties. First, whatever we sale cannot be easily purchased at a local store. Otherwise "you don't need to go to that, just go get it at the store" is the easiest of retorts. Second, the host needs to be selling something we would actually want to buy. Finally, and unfortunately, this cannot be half-assed or the ruse will be exposed.

What could meet all this criteria? AN IMPORT BEER PARTY. It would not necessarily need to be an actual "imported beer", but rather a beer that cannot be purchased locally. The host would drive somewhere, buy a shit load of beer, and at the party sell the beer at a premium that covers cost and makes a small profit. For example, I could host a Yuengling party since it cannot be purchased locally. I would drive to Cincinnati, get a keg of 'gling, and as many cases as I could fit in my car. At the party, guests could buy cold ones from the keg for $1 and/or a  case for $25-30. Honestly, breaking even financially would be more than worth it.

These could "set the mood"
Now I just need someone to explain "invitations" to me.

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