Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Guy's Baptism as told by Guy Thomas Proctor and Crosby Jane Proctor

My Baptism by Guy

A couple of weeks ago, I hit my baptism so hard. Sis's bday was the day before, so it is safe to say I was in party mode all weekend. Baptism morning I was still feeling the effects of a late night (7:30), so I bonked out for an A.M. siesta before the big event. Next thing you know dad busts in with no chill whatsoever and tells me its time to go. Then he loses his cool when he realizes I filled up a record diaper. It was not my fault sis wanted Mexican for her bday. Naturally, I went wild on some refrieds and nachos. Sue me, pops.

Anyway, him and Nana scrambled to get me ready to meet up with moms and sis at church. Dad drove kind of fast on the way, which was fun at first but unsettling on the tummy. Once we got there, moms started asking pops why we were late. We were only one minute late so I said to mom, "what did you think they were gonna do, baptize somebody else?" I really clowned her.

Once the big moment arrived and we all went up front with Pastor Jane, the feels started hitting me so hard. We had my big church moment going, I was still kind of sleepy, and Pops wouldn't let me see the bulletin.  I had to shed a few tears guys. Then, out of the blue, Pastor Jane, who is normally pretty chill, starts dousing my dome with H2O! I was not mentally in bath mode, so that really threw me off and the tears kept flowing. After awhile Pastor J took me on a tour of the big church room and I got to meet my new church fam. Then I got treats.

Guy's Baptism by Crosby

My birthday weekend culminated with Guy's baptism, which teetered on being an absolute disaster. While Mom and I managed to get to Sunday school at 9:45, Dad and Guy were nowhere to be found at 11:00: the starting time for Guy's baptism. Then, at what was probably about 11:05, but felt like 11:15 due to embarrassment, Dad comes storming in like a lunatic with a sock-less Guy. Dad seemed defeated and appeared to be out-of-breath. Although he had simply been tasked with dressing a child and driving them to a location ten minutes away, he behaved as if he had just fled a war-torn country. Thankfully, mom and I were there to calm the chaos.
Cool pose, Dad.

When it came time for the ceremony, Guy became upset, which is understandable considering he likes to be on time to major life events and his feet were probably cold. For some baffling reason Dad would not let him look at his own baptism bulletin, which upset him more. Guy cried and cried as he tried to get his bulletin, and in a monumental display of weakness, Dad managed to let Guy knock the bulletin out his hand three times. I did my best to get Guy's attention and cheer him up a little bit. For my efforts, I got a "watch out, honey" from Dad. Watch out? For what? Fortunately, me, Mom, and Pastor Jane got Guy away from him and shored up a successful baptism. Afterwards, all Dad could talk about was what he was going to order at the celebratory lunch. Yeah, you earned that.

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