I treat trivial matters as if they are the most important issues in our world. I know there are serious issues out there like war, famine and the HPV vaccine. News and notes is not serious, it is supposed to be humorous commentary. I wish I did not have to say this, seeing that it is obvious to 99% of people.
For the sports fans out there, is there a bigger "who gives a shit?" sports "story" out there right now than whether Joe Paterno will be coaching from the sideline or the press box? Seriously, no one fucking cares! The mother-ship had the audacity to run this on the bottom line continuously for a few days. Will there be flashing BREAKING NEWS when he goes to the bathroom to inform us whether it was a #1 or #2? I don't dislike him, but I am sick of hearing about him. I would rather see updates on an independent hockey league team's backup goalie's swollen left testicle. This is just another example of the Big 10 stuck in the past, look at the SEC, Nick Saban could be coaching from the depths of hell (he might be) and no one would notice or care.
*RIDICULOUS COMMERCIAL ALERT*
I am going to describe a television commercial. Please make a mental picture and then we will guess at the product it is endorsing.
There is a very well-dressed guy with a shaved head, a goatee and a soul patch (I later found out that this is the artist Pitbull) who is texting people from an IPhone about an impromptu party . There are numerous attractive "cool" people using various means of transportation (Escalades, bicycles, tumbling) to reach a gathering underneath an overpass. There is a large tour bus, sub woofers, and break dancing. The accompanying music has a dance beat and the mind-blowing lyrics "Let's have a real good time" repeated over and over.
Now, what is this commercial advertising? A Pitbull concert tour? No, guess again. Some type of expensive Cognac? Good try, but wrong again. Ray Ban sunglasses?...Condoms? No...its Dr. Pepper..that's right, its Dr. Pepper.
Now I know what you are thinking, because I thought the exact same thing: what the fuck does any of this stuff have to do with Dr. Pepper? Unfortunately, I do not have the answer but I am able to provide a few more points of mockery to the absurdity of this commercial.
Everyone can be seen dancing and drinking a Dr. Pepper...ok, what next? Everyone got dressed up, went to the "party" and enjoyed a can of Dr. Pepper. So what happens after that first fifteen minutes? Is more Dr. Pepper drank? Do people begin to bong Dr. Pepper? Is there medicine available to relieve the acid reflux that is brought about by binge drinking Dr. Pepper and dancing?
Here is the commercial, I could only find the Spanish version, but you get the point..
Advertisers and marketing people will tell me the ad is successful because I remember it. They may be right, I kind of want a Dr. Pepper now, especially if it going to bring about the fun had in the video. To be honest, this commercial is not nearly as bad as the McDonald's commercials where a large group of people are inside an apartment and there is a "party" going on where everyone is mingling and gorging themselves with various items from the McDonald's menu. If I remember right some guy is upset because he was somehow left out of the McDonald's "party". I cannot fathom why he would be upset. Is he afraid he will miss the inevitable gas that will be brought about by 30 people all eating McDonald's in a cramped space?