Sunday, January 31, 2016

Writing my novel PART I

It recently occurred to me that writing a best selling novel is a legitimate way to make a lot of money.  And if I had a lot of money I could buy name brand chocolate milk and possibly hire a nanny.  So, it seems like something I should do.  But where to begin?  

I googled "how to write a.." and realized "book" is a more popular search than "novel".  I feel safe in saying I have a leg up on people googling "how to write a book".  So I proceeded with my superior google query and found out step one is to take an hour to summarize my novel into one sentence.  Considering I have, at most, 25 minutes before Guy wakes up, I am sure as hell not wasting an hour on that.  I'll give it about three minutes.  Hmmmm...

"A cool guy goes through a series of life events."

Let's compare this to the example on the webpage: “A rogue physicist travels back in time to kill the apostle Paul.”

I can see advantages to both.  While my sentence lacks in specificity and creativity, it also does not require scientific or biblical research.  I am declaring right now that I do not want to have to study ANYTHING to write my novel.  This is certainly not going to be The Davinci Code (did I even spell that correctly?).  My "cool guy" may go to the Louvre on vacation or something, but he is not going to be deciphering anything.  

Apparently I have gotten ahead of myself by proceeding to step one.  [Wait, now that is a good sentence, I am definitely using that in the novel.]  I am going to just close this first stage by writing six ideas/themes to implement in the story:

1.  The main character (cool guy) will be named Ted (badass name)
2.  Ted's favorite band is Rage Against the Machine but he does not necessarily agree with their politics.
3.  Ted goes on vacation to Paris at some point.
4.  Ted describes people to readers by saying "he/she seems like the type of person who (something)".  For example "this guy seems like the type of person who gets really excited when an armed homeowner shoots an intruder."
5.  Maybe squeeze a murder in somewhere
6.  If Ted has kids then they take really long naps and he has the requisite time to put into money making ventures.  

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