Guide to the Holidays 2016: Gift Ideas

Back in 2013, I started an annual "guide to the holidays"(encouraging bringing chips to a potluck, candle recommendation, promoting The Killers Christmas songs, Crosby even wrote one!). Unfortunately, it has taken until 2016 to renew this cherished tradition. Hopefully, readers have continued to partake in the holidays in the interim.

In 2014, I gave some gift ideas. This year, let's combine the two. Here, in a guide to the holidays, are some more gift ideas.
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Gift buying can be tedious. Whether it is honing in on the perfect gift or buying for someone difficult, deciding what to buy can put a lot of strain on the holidays. Here is some help:

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

Want to reduce stress and add deliciousness to someone's life in the coming year? Pre-pay for them to have queso every time they go to their favorite Mexican restaurant in 2017. Its simple, hand the maitre d' a $100 bill, hold up a picture of the gift-getter, and say "this son of a bitch doesn't pay for queso the whole year!". Whoever gets the gift will be floored when queso comes out with the initial chips and salsa. No decisions to make, just a meal-turned-fiesta EVERY TIME they go.

Feliz Navidad! 

Membership to a Colds Club

Some of my in-laws got me a three month membership to a beer club for my birthday and it was fantastic. Once a month, I received a brew shipment composed of a couple of selections from different out-of-state breweries. Sometimes knowing that quality cold ones were en route is all that got me through the month. Just kidding, but it was exciting. 

There are some questions about whether you can ship alcohol in Kentucky. My thoughts? Don't ask. Maintain plausible deniability: if colds show up on your doorstep, thank the sender and drink them, no questions asked.

Christmas every month.

Weird sign I took a picture of in a store

Who would want this? Maybe someone on your list?

I do not know why someone would want to hang this up. Why the permanence? The message seems like something that shy youths text to one another. I hope it is not a blanket declaration to all readers, because that would be the epitome of desperation. Anyway, maybe you know someone who wants this sign. At least there is potential for a lewd joke.

Some exotic cheeses, a case of moderately-priced red wine, and a Killers album release date

*wink*