Proctoberfest 10/01/2011

As many of you know I recently married the love of my life Laura Hayes.  The ceremony and reception were everything we wanted and more.  It was without a doubt the best day of my life.  I want to thank all of our family and friends who made it so special.  Obviously this calls for a blog...

As I've been thinking about what I wanted to write about Proctoberfest, I remembered that many say "a picture is worth x words" (the x represents an unknown quantity due to the on-going debate about how many words a picture in actually worth).  Thanks to our aunt Joni and a few other friends with an eye for a photographic moment, we have many great photos to share.  The challenge I have presented for Proctor's Type is to select 25 of these photographs and create a top 25 list to encompass Proctoberfest.  I will try to get as many attendees as possible pictured, but if you do not see yourself it is nothing personal, we still love you.  Also the "rankings" of the 1-25 are not ranking people but the pictures themselves.  Without further ado..

25.

Laura and Bride's Maid Emily

I was not fortunate enough to be a part of the getting ready process with the women but it looks like I missed out on a lot of fun...I think.

24.

Best man Sam & Maid of Honor Katie

Now this is how you make an entrance.

23.

Laura & I

The cake tasted great.

22.

Laura

I am the luckiest man in the world.

21.

A hell of a performance

In a performance that will never be forgotten (unless you drank too much at the reception),  your's truly pulled out the classic "Jesse's Girl" with some modified lyrics (Proctor's Girl, get it?).  Many seem curious, Enes seems unimpressed, Lanna seems hesitant, Blake seems more excited than anyone and Kevin now has a piece of video he can cherish forever.  Just remember, a little showmanship and alcohol can cover for any voice, no matter how bad.

20.

Proctoberfest Toast

Proctoberfest, the previously blogged about beer created by Groomsman Buddy, was a huge hit.  I also think the 7% ABV loosened quite a few guests up.

19.

Carter (Ring Bearer) and Cindy (Mother in Law)

18.

Groomsman Ben's car and Groom

These days you can not have any type of photo session without a "Euro pic".  Luckily for me, Ben has a slammed VW with a cold air intake and a manual transmission.  Combine that with my Euro pose and you can not say anything except this photo is Euro as hell.

17.

Sarah, Bride's Maid and Sister

Sarah sang beautifully...

16.

Bride's Maids Lindsay, Emily, Megan, Maid of Honor Katie, Flower Girl Mary

And everyone cried.

15.

Laura and Flower Girl Mary

Mary is the perfect flower girl and the daughter of our awesome friends Mike and Sarah.  For those of you planing your own weddings, no you cannot use her.

14.

My Bride

13.

Bride and Susan (Mother in Law)

I love Susan's face in this picture.  She is happy but at the same time you can see she is realizing the moment.  For years she has been watching her beautiful daughter Laura grow and now a new phase in life begins.  Marriage affects so many beyond the bride and groom themselves.

12. 

My mom and I

11.

Bruhs: Josh (literal bro), Buddy, Ben, Trav, Sullivan, Tim, Sam

Sometimes when you get a solid group of bruhs together you have to put on, represent etc.  That is what this is.

10.  

Hell of an entrance

Just when you start thinking Proctoberfest is wedding 2.0, pretty P pulls out the ol' twirl, a classic dance move.

9.

Lauren, Lindsay, Katie, Laura, Megan, Emily, Laura (my sis), Sarah, Mary

Everyone smile, except Katie, we want you to scream

8.  

Flower girl Mary and Ring Bearer Carter (nephew)

7.

Family Portrait #1

Bill's face FTW

6.

Family Portrait #2

5.

Family Portrait #3

Now we have the Proctor Clan, some have said we were the wild-cards in the whole deal.

4.

Ok, so what in the hell is going on?

Things are really about to start popping off in this picture.  Directing the troops is our volunteer wedding coordinator Melissa, who did a fabulous job.

3.

Bride and Groom

Our first kiss as husband and wife, a special moment.  Our pastor Jane is also kind of in the picture, we love her and she is a lock for POY (pastor of the year)

2.

The Hole

Our church Crescent Hill Presbyterian is a beautiful building right in the heart of Crescent Hill.  There are many scenic shots to be had, but nothing compares to some bruhs heading down into the hole.  

1.

Laura, my wife

This picture shows my wife as I know and love her: beautiful and fun.  We will now be laughing together forever and I could not be more excited.

Penn State

What is wrong with sports, especially collegiate sports?  Bruce Pearl is fired and disgraced because he had a recruit over for a barbecue.  The sports media and fans raked Jim Tressel over the coals because he covered up the fact that some of his players traded THEIR OWN memorabilia and autographs for cash and tattoos.  Miami football is in a state of disarray because a booster, who is now in prison, bought alcohol and prostitutes for players and recruits.   We can even go back to the SMU football "death penalty" in which a entire program was completely corrupted and the notion of amateur athlectics was thrown out the window.

Now I am not defending these actions or questioning their punishments.  I am simply bringing them up to show how small and petty they seem in comparison to what is going on at Penn State right now.  Everyone from the athletic director to Joe Patrerno and on down have KNOWINGLY, for years, covered up allegations of child rape and sexual abuse against a former defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky.  It is easy to say that they passed the buck and tried to clean their hands of it but it goes much deeper than that.
Full Grand Jury Report (very disturbing): Here

 Just think if someone came to you and told you they had seen a co-worker raping a child.  Would you simply send that up the chain of command?  If there was not any follow up, would you simply let it pass and not ask anymore questions?  Any decent person would have called the police and not let the pervert continue to pray on children.  Penn State does not understand the scope of this and they need to take the following steps to try to save any shred of decency within their football program:

1.  Fire Joe Paterno and do not give him any type of ceremony, he does not deserve it.  He has proven through his inaction that he is not what we thought he was and probably never was.
2.  Allow any current Penn State football player to transfer to any school without having to sit out a year
3.  Do not allow Penn State to profit from their football program for the next five years.  It is unfortunate but to really open eyes the money must stop coming in.
4.  I would recommend the Big 10 severing ties with Penn State in football only.  Penn State should have to play as an independent and not receive any conference money.

I feel terrible for Sandusky's victims and families.  I know that the collapse of a football program is not justice but it at least holds some of the perpetrators accountable.

R.I.P R.E.M

These past few months have been hectic to say the least, and my Rolling Stone magazine subscription has become a victim of the chaos.  In a rare moment of calm, I thumbed through my growing stack of back issues and cherry picked a few headlines that sparked my interest.  I took a few minutes to read "Why R.E.M. called it quits" and then I proceeded to take a trip down memory lane.  I had heard it mentioned that R.E.M had broken up but I never took time to realize just how much I would miss them.

R.E.M was one of the first "real" bands I listened to.  I can remember watching the losing my religion video on MTV every time it came on (which was a lot).  The song is fantastic and the video is weird, a perfect combination for a music video (remember those?).  Losing my religion also transcended generations within my own family: my mom and dad liked it too.  In fact, I would say R.E.M is one of the few bands that all four members of my immediate family enjoy.  Many R.E.M songs take me back to long car rides on our annual family summer vacations and I can not help but smile.  R.E.M serves as background music when I think about my childhood and they will forever be a part of these cherished memories.

No album solicits such memories as often as Automatic for the People, without a doubt one of the greatest albums ever made.  In 1992 I had the tape to listen to in my Walkman and the CD to listen to on my stereo at home.  I cannot believe that album is 19 years old, where has all the time gone?  I can remember listening to Man on the Moon on the portable CD player I snuck into Boy Scout camp.  Everybody Hurts was frequently played throughout middle and high school for obvious reasons.  Find the River accompanied my "what does it all mean" college phase.  Now Nightswimming plays when I am enjoying a glass of wine with my beautiful wife.  

I am not going to play music critic and explain how R.E.M were the original alternative rock band or delve into their vast range of musical styles and genius.  Instead I am going to post my 5 favorite REM songs and recommend my readers take a few minutes and enjoy the raw beauty of one of the great bands of all time:

5.  Talk about the passion

4.  Stand

3.  Find the River

2.  The One I Love

1.  Nightswimming

Honorable Mention- Check out their "final" song, talk about going out on top...

Tebow

I still think Tim Tebow will be a winning NFL QB...I may be wrong but I am assuredly still cheering for him.


I am just waiting for all the angry, "I told you so!" from all my wannabe NFL scouts followers.  "He sucks!"  "I was right!" "I know everything about football!" "Fuck You!"  Hang on...

I understand that everyone gets their kicks piling on to two bad games (they won one) but why is there no perspective?  Why is he all of the sudden the worst player to ever play football after only starting 6 games in his career for a shitty team?  Hasn't Blaine Gabbert started 6 or so games?   Why am I not hearing how much he sucks?  The reason is because ESPN said Gabbert would be good and that Tebow would suck and everyone wants to be right.  Unfortunately sports conversation is all about throwing some shit out and seeing if it sticks.  We all watch ESPN and it makes us feel like a scout team because we hear analyst after analyst repeat the same "takes".  I was under the impression that Cam Newton was going to be terrible because he couldn't give Jon Gruden a verbal play call...what happened to that?

The truth is I am a huge Tebow fan and I will always spin anything to make him look better.   It is also true that I am putting pictures of Tebow shirtless on this blog to make his haters even more angry and jealous.  I like that he is a genuine person as well as an intense competitor and leader.  What is so bad about that?  Being a fan is about more than trying to be "right" and hating everything that may get in your way.  So if I could ask one thing of my readers, please leave your bullshit "analysis" out of this for just this one time.  We all have sports opinions, these debates are part of what makes sports great.  But the Tebow hatred has gotten out of hand and there is no perspective in our current minute to minute knee jerk reactions to what is going on in sports.  I will leave you with this:

Pumpkin Carving 2011

I didn't want Halloween to pass without my loyal readers getting to see my 2011 pumpkin:

Great Show

News and Notes 10/26/2011 (Herman Cain 2012)

Hello world,  it is been quite awhile since I last reached out and blogged.  I have been planning a picture laden recap of Proctoberfest 2011 (my wedding), but I figured in the mean time I would get my loyal followers (LeBron...) back in the loop and introduce our next president.

Herman Cain 2012!
One topic I have avoided (for the most part) in Proctor's Type is politics.  Just to give a little background, I have been a life-long democrat and have voted in every election since I turned 18.  I tend to have a liberal/progressive view on most economic issues as well as a moderate-liberal view on current social issues.  So why am I now supporting Herman Cain, a trickle-downing, pro-life even in the case of incest and rape, social program cutting republican?  Well, I was fortunate enough to catch this ad and it pretty much says it all...

The only way I can get to just how powerful this advertisement is break down my thoughts by the second:
:02-  Wait a second..I thought Herman Cain was black...
:04-  Who the hell is Mark Block?
:08-  This is the first (but not the last) time Mr. Block appears to be winded...
:14-  What is the "chief operating officer of the frenzder mccain"?
:16-  It is hard to see but he is doing the politician thumb thing...should be noted
:17-  "Tomorrow is one day closer to the White House"...this doesn't make any sense
:24- "I really believe that Herman Cain will put united back in the United States of America"...seriously?
:29- "We've run a campaign like no one has ever seen"..for better or worse this is actually true
:32- "America has never seen a candidate like Herman Cain"-  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Keyes
:40-  Winded again, politician thumb thing again...this guys not running right?
:41-  Producer: "fuck it, cue the music and get this guy a half smoked cigarette, we are going to go a different direction"
:41- Why is he smoking?
:44-  This prick is blowing smoke in my face!  Is it some type of new campaign strategy to get a potential voter to loathe the chief of staff?
:44-  I am still in awe that someone would pay money to air a commercial in which some asshole is smoking and blowing it in the camera in an effort to get you to support his candidate
:45-  Oh there he is..
:46- Wow that is a creepy look...
:48-  Still creepy...
:49-  Producer:  "That look is creeping everyone out and we are losing voters by the second!"  Do something to make him smile!
:50-  Producer (holding a picture of occupier being arrested)  "There we go, now he's smiling"
:54-  Producer: "Smile is creepier than stare!  smile is creepier than stare!!!  Shut it off!
:55-  Just FYI here are the lyrics of the "song" in the background:
I am America
One voice, united we stand
I am America
One hope to heal our (inaudible)


Deep...I wonder what American Idol 11th placer they got to sing that?

Beer Reviews 09/23/2011

Hello world.  Laura and I headed to our Masterbrewer's house last night to put the labels on our Proctoberfest Wedding Ale, previously blogged about here Part One and here Part Two.  With this in mind, I decided I would give Proctoberfest Wedding Ale an official review, along with a couple others we downed over there.

FTW

Master Brewer

Who: Buddy's Best Brewing Co. (Louisville, KY)
What: Proctoberfest Wedding Ale
Cost: Production costs ran about $1 a bottle
Description:  Proctoberfest is a solid brown with an excellent head.  The pumpkin and brown sugar are evident in the front and it finishes strong with an almost champagne like tingle.  The 7.0 ABV means Proctoberfest has a decent kick but the drinker wouldn't guess it's that high.  From the lacing in the glass to the unique not-too-much pumpkin taste, this is not your average home brew.
Rating: 10/10
Social Standing:  If you are drinking Proctoberfest Wedding Ale that means you are at our wedding, which makes you a fantastic, well-balanced person.  

Who: Breckenridge Brewery(Denver, Colorado)
What: Oatmeal Stout
Cost: $9.29 for a six pack of 12 oz. bottles
Description:  This oatmeal stout has an up front bitterness that, despite being unexpected, was highly welcomed.    This must be where the 31 IBUs kick in.  Although I like the increased IBUs, there isn't a lot of ABV (4.95%) to support them.  This beer has nothing on the back end after the upfront bitterness.  The beer also felt thin for being a stout.
Rating: 6/10
Social Standing:  There is no problem bringing a beer like this to a party.  It is somewhat unique but not all out weird, more Pink than Lady Gaga.  I wasted most of my Colorado stereotypes on the previous Beer Reviews...August Beer Reviews

Who: Avery Brewing (Boulder, Colorado)

What: Ellie's Brown Ale

Cost: $9.99 for a six pack of 12 oz. bottles
Description:  I should preface by saying I love brown ales and I always tend to compare them to what I consider to be the style standards:  Bell's Best Brown Ale (appropriately named) and BBC's Nut Brown Ale.  Ellie's is very tasty but just average.  I think my love for Browns makes me like just about any Browns and Ellie is no different.  The ABV (5.5%) is spot on but I would like a little more bitterness (17 IBUs) balanced out with more roasted flavor.  The rating gets a bonus point for the Dog on the label.
Rating: 7/10
Social Standing:  Why do I keep reviewing Colorado beers?!?  Lets see....Boulder...ummm...college town...liberal...marijuana?....skiing?...clean air....Northface...ok I got it...

Hey Hippie, Ellie's Brown ale is a perfect beer to enjoy after your skiing trip, that is if you have a free hand from holding your marijuana cigarette and making a peace sign.  In between deep breaths of your amazing clean air, enjoy a few sips of this brown ale and as a bonus it also comes in a can which would fit perfectly inside your Northface fleece's interior pocket.  

In all honesty, I REALLY want to go to Colorado...who's in?

News and Notes (09/17/2011)- The world around us

*Disclaimer* I want to start this by saying that if you have never read my news and notes (great name) before,

I treat trivial matters as if they are the most important issues in our world.  I know there are serious issues out there like war, famine and the HPV vaccine.  News and notes is not serious, it is supposed to be humorous commentary.  I wish I did not have to say this, seeing that it is obvious to 99% of people.  

Now....

For the sports fans out there, is there a bigger "who gives a shit?" sports "story" out there right now than whether Joe Paterno will be coaching from the sideline or the press box?  Seriously, no one fucking cares!  The mother-ship had the audacity to run this on the bottom line continuously for a few days.  Will there be flashing BREAKING NEWS when he goes to the bathroom to inform us whether it was a #1 or #2?  I don't dislike him, but I am sick of hearing about him.  I would rather see updates on an independent hockey league team's backup goalie's swollen left testicle.  This is just another example of the Big 10 stuck in the past, look at the SEC, Nick Saban could be coaching from the depths of hell (he might be) and no one would notice or care.

*RIDICULOUS COMMERCIAL ALERT*

I am going to describe a television commercial.  Please make a mental picture and then we will guess at the product it is endorsing.  

There is a very well-dressed guy with a shaved head, a goatee and a soul patch (I later found out that this is the artist Pitbull) who is texting people from an IPhone about an impromptu party .  There are numerous attractive "cool" people using various means of transportation (Escalades, bicycles, tumbling) to reach a gathering underneath an overpass.  There is a large tour bus, sub woofers, and break dancing.  The accompanying music has a dance beat and the mind-blowing lyrics "Let's have a real good time" repeated over and over.

Now, what is this commercial advertising?  A Pitbull concert tour?  No, guess again.  Some type of expensive Cognac?  Good try, but wrong again.  Ray Ban sunglasses?...Condoms?  No...its Dr. Pepper..that's right, its Dr. Pepper.

Now I know what you are thinking, because I thought the exact same thing:  what the fuck does any of this stuff have to do with Dr. Pepper?  Unfortunately, I do not have the answer but I am able to provide a few more points of mockery to the absurdity of this commercial.

Everyone can be seen dancing and drinking a Dr. Pepper...ok, what next?  Everyone got dressed up, went to the "party" and enjoyed a can of Dr. Pepper.  So what happens after that first fifteen minutes?  Is more Dr. Pepper drank?  Do people begin to bong Dr. Pepper?  Is there medicine available to relieve the acid reflux that is brought about by binge drinking Dr. Pepper and dancing?  

Here is the commercial, I could only find the Spanish version, but you get the point..

Advertisers and marketing people will tell me the ad is successful because I remember it.  They may be right, I kind of want a Dr. Pepper now, especially if it going to bring about the fun had in the video.  To be honest, this commercial is not nearly as bad as the McDonald's commercials where a large group of people are inside an apartment and there is a "party" going on where everyone is mingling and gorging themselves with various items from the McDonald's menu.  If I remember right some guy is upset because he was somehow left out of the McDonald's "party".  I cannot fathom why he would be upset.  Is he afraid he will miss the inevitable gas that will be brought about by 30 people all eating McDonald's in a cramped space?

News and Notes (09/17/2011)- Personal

It has been three full months since my first installment of News and Notes (you have to love the name).  Today is a great day to catch my loyal readers up on what has happened in those three months and to state my opinion on vibrant topics from around the world (part 2).  I will start with a few personal notes, considering this is one of the most exciting times of my life:

-The Detroit Tigers are your AL Central champs!  Leyland has his team red-hot and rolling into the post season and I cannot wait until the MLB playoffs.  My personal (biased) opinion is to give Verlander the Cy Young, Papa Grande the Rolaids relief award, and either Miguel Cabrera or Verlander the MVP.

FTW

-Staying on the topic of sports, today is the University of Louisville vs. University of Kentucky football game.  I am an avid Cardinals fan but I am also realistic.  I like our chances but I am not going to guarantee anything, this team is young and will have to really show out to walk out of Commonwealth with a W.  I should note that more than a few Kentucky fans have told me they don't think it will be close...as in Kentucky is going to to run away with it.  Well, Vegas disagrees, seeing as they have installed Kentucky as only a 5.5 point home favorite.  When I tell U of K fan this and offer them my bookie's phone number they tend to curb their expectations.  Personally, I will be DVRing the game because I will be throwing back some brews and doing the cupid shuffle at my boy Ian's Wedding.  Congrats Bro.  I am looking forward to it.

Cardinal Strong

-And speaking of weddings....I AM GETTING MARRIED IN TWO WEEKS!  

Our outfits for the wedding

-Months of preparation have culminated in me applying to a few law schools for admittance into the Fall 2012 cycle.  LSAT has been taken, Letters of Recommendation have been sent, transcripts uploaded and personal statement written.  So far I have applied to the law schools of The University of Cincinnati, The University of Kentucky and Valparaiso University.  Thankfully, these three schools all sent me application fee waivers so I saved about $150.  Now calm down Louisville friends, I still plan on applying to my first choice and most likely destination the University of Louisville Brandeis School of Law.  For whatever reason they do not accept applications until October 1st, and if you read the title of the blog you would know it is only September 17th.  

What a great time to be alive!  I have so much to look forward too.  I am so blessed to have the friends and family I have, I love you all.

M.O.R.E

Today as I was walking Carl, I noticed two different men coming the opposite way from us.  One was driving a BMW sports car and the other was on foot wearing a flat-bill cap, long black denim shorts and Jordan's.  I try to wave or say hi to everyone I see while walking the dog.  Unfortunately in this situation I used stereotypes to try and predict their reactions.

I figured I would get a stare down from the sports car guy or that he might speed off and squeal his tires.  From flat-bill and Jordan's I expected he might scowl my way or ask me if I had a lighter.  Much to my surprise BMW gave me a polite raise-fingers-off-the-steering wheel wave and flat-bill a polite hello and head nod.  This made me start wondering; why can't all us guys treat one another this way?

Let's face it, it can be tough being a guy.  We have to deal with losing hair, fathering children, and strong emotions brought about by sport outcomes.  Maybe if we all just respected one another a little more we wouldn't have to worry as much about all the problems that men bring about such as war or street gangs.  This morning was a great example of some men, of different walks of life, just out respecting each other.  Men Out Respecting Each other or M.O.R.E for short is a movement I am going to start.  When I am out on the town I will not try to stare other dudes down or be so swift to judge my fellow men.  Who is with me?  I am certainly going to need M.O.R.E.