I guess I have a brother now... - A guest blog by Crosby Jane Proctor

I was enjoying what I thought was an impromptu weekend get-a-way with Nana and Papa when I was informed it was time to go to the hospital and meet my brother.  Of course this was no surprise to me.  For the past few months I have been indoctrinated each night with books emphasizing the importance of being a "good big sister".  Needless to say, I got the gist of these books about halfway through the first one.  My favorite was the Berenstain Bears version.  Basically, the older bear sibling gets a new bed because he has outgrown it and his old bed is reserved for the new baby.  This new bed comes about from the father going into the woods, chopping down a tree and building a bed from the fallen wood.  This could not be more dissimilar from our situation.  If my new brother is waiting on our dad to do this, he may as well find a comfortable spot on the floor for the next 18 years.

Putting babies on top of play carts full of toys is an excellent idea.

Well, we can (and will) clown dad in the future.  Here is the pertinent info of my little bro:

Name:        Guy Thomas Proctor

Height:       19.75 Inches

Weight:      8 lbs 9 oz

Time born: 2:41 AM September 12, 2015

Mood:        Jacked (as you can see dad still has some say in the content of his blog)

I hope he does not think he gets mom and I am stuck with dad.

Word around Baptist East is that mom was a champ again.  She stuck to her plan for a natural birth.   Shout out to her awesome doula Angela and (to a lesser extent) dad for helping her along.  Although, apparently Guy did not put up nearly as long of fight as I did.  That being said, mom and brother are both healthy and doing well.  Dad will not stop talking about what time the cafeteria opens.

He gets to suck his thumb all he wants, but if I ask for a pacifier at the wrong time all heck breaks loose.

This is going to be a fun time in our house.  My brother seems pretty cool.  I am considering waking up at night every time he does so that we all get to hang out together.  Plus, I cannot wait to teach him the "wake up and cry right at kickoff" trick that I patented.  

Trash day

Wednesday is trash pickup day and recycling pickup is every other Wednesday.  After six years in our house, I know this.  I also know that because we had a holiday Monday, pickup for both will be delayed until Thursday.  

Needless to say I was content just waiting until tomorrow.  But then I saw Mr. Goody Two Shoes from across the street put his cans out today.  Could he be right?

And who is Mr. G2S you ask?  Here is all you need to know about him:

Last summer, due to some mower trouble, our front yard was a tad neglected.  I thought I had the problem fixed and began to mow, however the mower continued to stall out as I went along.  The whole time this is happening, Mr. G2S is across the street shooting the shit with some other poindexter.  Eventually the mower would not restart and in a momentary lapse in chill, I flipped the mower over onto the ground and it popped back up on its wheels (it was actually pretty cool).  He sees all this and what does he do you ask?  He starts cutting his own well-manicured lawn that did not need to be cut...

There it is.  Guess what Neighbor Ned, if I look like a fool for forgetting the holiday and putting the cans out early, then you do too. And when my young kids are grown up a little and I can focus more on the yard, mine will be on point too.  Also, if you read this, where did you get that new Dogwood tree?  That bloom last spring was fantastic.

The little things...

Is there anything better than discovering freshly-hardened, melted cheese when cleaning the panini press?  Truth be told, I have been known, on occasion, to let a little cheese seep out of the panini/quesadilla I am pressing just to ensure I get that little taste of heaven. 

College football predictions (guesses)

No "analysis", just throwing it out and seeing if anything sticks.  If it does, you better believe you will be hearing about this again.  

College football playoff:

1.  Ohio State

2.  USC

3.  Florida State

4.  Alabama

Final: Alabama defeats Florida State

First 4 Out:

Michigan St.

Georgia

Baylor

Auburn

Conference Champs:

ACC: Florida St

Big 10: Ohio St

Big 12: Baylor

Pac 12: USC

SEC East: Georgia

SEC West: Alabama 

Heisman: Cody Kessler

Projected Records:

Louisville: 9-3

Kentucky: 7-5

CMU: 6-6

A dilemma

This is a very small amount of leftover nacho cheese from a Lil C's Hot N' Ready run last Sunday.  It was obviously used for crust dips and I will say, it certainly did its job quite nicely.  I have no earthly idea what to do with it now, but at the same time, I simply cannot let go. 

Fellow Tiger fans, let's pick a new guy

Yesterday, while Jason Day was breaking records in the last golf major of the year, I was watching the Tiger's bullpen blow yet another game and a couple episodes of the X Files.  Why?   Because I do not have anyone to cheer for because I am clinging onto Tiger like an obsessed ex-lover who just cannot let go.  (It should be noted that, unlike many, I am not actually an ex-lover of Tiger).  The truth is he just does not have it going right now and it is time to cheer for someone new.  I used to pretend to be some kind of a purist who would watch golf without Tiger contending.  I was lying to myself and everyone else.  It is time to pick a new stud (that's one way to phrase that -Editor) and I would like to walk you all through my thought process.

First and foremost, I am going to narrow down the list to 5 guys.  These guys are all young and most have won majors.  I do not want to pick someone older, just to have to turn around and pick someone else in a few years.  I also do not want to pick someone who sucks (as compared to the other pros, I understand all PGA tour players are excellent at golf).

Candidate #1: Dustin Johnson

Photo courtesy of CNN and a non-major tournament

I like that he rockets to the top of the leader board, but I am not a huge fan of him never actually winning.  I also do not like or use cocaine, which could be a good or a bad thing considering he has cleaned himself up.  In the end, I am not as big of a fan of "comeback stories" as others are, especially when the comeback is from a series of completely self-imposed problems.

Verdict: Not my guy

Candidate #2: Jordan Spieth

First down!

This would be the obvious choice of a bandwagon to jump on.  He is fantastic.  And going with the front runner certainly is not the worst thing in the world.  He won the first two majors this year and was right there for the other two.  But he has one major downfall that may not be his fault at all.  It is the way people talk about him.  I cannot tell you how often I hear from golf commentators that he "looks like you want him to look", "does things the right way", and "respects the game".  What a crock of shit.  If this is what everyone "wants" then why does everyone love Tiger so much?  There is a small sect of golf fans who are glad this type of guy has supplanted Tiger, but that group is not nearly as large as they think they are.  Great player, good guy, but a tad too vanilla for me.

Verdict: Not my guy

Candidate #3: Rickie Fowler

One advantage Rickie has is he is the easiest player to spot if watching from 10,000 feet above the course.

There is nothing wrong with flamboyant, garish clothing and he gets paid a ton to wear it.  I just cannot keep up style-wise.

Verdict: Not my guy.

Candidate #4: Jason Day

Photo courtesy of BBC

The headline accompanying the above photo is "Jason Day: From Drunk 12-Year-Old To US PGA Champion".  Obviously, this boosts his case and he certainly has an advantage in our "prisoner of the moment" society.  He is Australian, which I am of mixed opinion.  Seems cool, cries a lot.

Verdict: Finalist

Candidate #5: Rory McIlroy

Curly hair is a major plus.

Depending on the font, his last name can look really cool when typed.  He is Irish, which I like.  But his best quality?  He is probably the best golfer in the world but ended 2015 with 0 for 3 in majors in which he played.  He also missed the British Open due to injury.  This means I am "buying low".  So when he wins a couple majors next year, I can be really proud of myself.  I just googled who his Premier League club is and am going to erase that from my mind.

Verdict: Winner

So Rory is my guy, but it should be noted that if Tiger even sniffs a major, I am dropping Rory faster than he dropped/was dropped by that tennis player.

Manic Monday (Guest Blogger- Crosby Jane Proctor)

Mondays are usually a fun time for me, but I just am not feeling it today.  I think it is mostly dad's fault.  He has a test coming up and was gone ("studying") most of the weekend.  He is being the BIGGEST BABY about the whole ordeal.  Honestly, I think it is a big ruse for him to get to eat out for every meal.  Sure, I will take a test too if that means Panera Bread, Starbucks, Burger King (x2), and Papa Johns pizza.  All the while the grass in the back just keeps growing and growing...someone please tell me how I am supposed to play back there.  Luckily, mommy and others salvaged some fun for the weekend, otherwise I am not sure I would know how to even deal with today.  

Fast forward to today.  I wanted some milk before I departed for school.  A reasonable request, right?  Well, dad responds with "just hang on a minute, you will get some milk at school".  How rude.  Next time he wants to drink a beer before we all go to the restaurant I am going to tell him "you don't need that, they will have beer at the restaurant".  Thankfully, mommy took the 30 seconds to pour me a glass of milk.  I finished it, we brushed teeth, and off daddy and I go to school.

On the way there I am forced to hear Drew Deener blather on about some sports something or other.  After about 10 minutes, but what feels like an hour, I am finally at school and I get to see my friends.  I was admittedly a little fired up and upon entering school I shoved one of my friends to the floor.  Whoopty doo.  Sue me (just a joke dad).  Of course, dad makes me say "sorry", which I did not feel was warranted.  Fifteen seconds later, I see another friend of mine carrying around a green basket that I want to play with.  I politely approach and attempt to take it away from her.  She starts to cry and of course I get told by dad to "let her keep it".  I did not think this was all too big of deal, but apparently it was enough to get my mug shot on the wall:

I do not have to tell you who was "watching me" when I fell and hit my face last weekend.

Wow,  it is only 9:30.  The good news is my day can only improve from here.

#Bonnafan

Over the past couple of days coach Petrino has been asked quite frequently about U of L footballs's QB situation.  I listened to his answers and I have seen the nice recruits coming in, but I have not wavered.  I am a #Bonnfan.  I have to stand strong, I coined the term!

Jacked & Ready, even helping children!  Photo courtesy of U of L sports.

I should be studying.

Something similar to this remains a possibility.

SPORTS NIGHT IN AMERICA

Reconciling the flashback will prove difficult, but it is a good problem to have.  ARE THERE ENOUGH BREWS IN THE WORLD?

8:00 USWNT v. Nigeria

Photo courtesy of NY Post

SO AMPED UP

9:00 Warriors v. Cavs Game 6

Photo Courtesy of Latin Times

JACKED BEYOND BELIEF

Leave Josh Rogers alone, or better yet, cheer him on

Last night Josh Rogers worked seven electric innings for the University of Louisville Cardinals in their eventual 4-3 super regional loss to Cal State Fullerton.  He exited with a 2-1 lead and inning after inning mowed through Cal State's lineup, including a highlight reel catch to end the sixth and back-to-back strike outs to end the seventh.  This is a good thing (at least for U of L fans) right?  Well you would think so, but you see Josh Rogers did something so terrible, so disgusting, that all of that goodwill was erased after he exited the mound at the end of the seventh inning.  I do not even know if I want to repeat it on my blog, but here goes...please do not repeat this to your children...he yelled for a few seconds in the general direction of Cal State Fullerton's bench.

Dealing

I simply do not understand why everyone, including U of L fans, seems to be piling on Josh Rogers for the way he exited the mound after getting a huge strike out to end the 7th.  He was FIRED UP, he was JACKED, he was AMPED!  Isn't that what we want?  We guzzle brews, dew and red bulls just to get that effect ourselves!  He yelled at Cal States Fullerton's bench and one of their assistant coaches (a grown man) completely loses his mind, runs on the field and screams at everyone, including the umpire.  What did he want the umpire to do...taze Rogers?  I apologize, but I do not see how, in a sport where adjusting your jock and spitting in the norm, someone can become so offended by a three second verbal spat with an opposing team's 21 year old pitcher.  And he is not the only one, even U of L fans are saying "I wish he would not have done that".  Boo Hoo.

Josh Rogers is one of our guys and should be treated as such.  He did not hurt anyone.  He did not make a dirty play.  He was excited and did something that was the slightest bit regrettable.  Please remember, Josh Rogers was the wining pitcher in Louisville's last two regional finals and he certainly is not to blame for last night's loss.  He is a guy who thrives in big moments and that, in turn, makes him excited.  We, as U of L fans, should support this, instead of turning into the moral authority and "conceding" that if he played for the other team (or UK) that we would be upset.  Who cares?  You know what, he does not play for the other team, he plays for U of L.  And please, for the love of everything holy, spare me the bullshit about him "showing the other side up" or even worse "upsetting the baseball gods" and thus somehow negativity affecting the outcome of the game.  Did Cal State Fullerton all the sudden decide to start trying to win the game at that point?  They got to U of L's bullpen, pitched well, and played superb defense.  Something tells me they were planning on trying to do that regardless.  Finally, Madison Bumgarner stared down and talked to the Royals' dugout (before the game was over) en route to one of the greatest World Series pitching performances of all time.  Where were the baseball gods then?  And how outraged are we now?  Fortunately for Bumgarner and Giants fans, the Giants went on to win, but that does not change the fact that the actions were similar.

All in all, I am probably still just upset about the loss.  But I am certainly not blaming Rogers, I am cheering him.  In an 11 inning loss, everyone wants to place blame.  I do not think this is a productive practice in general, but I certainly don't think the blame should be placed on some kind of mystical power summoned from three seconds of Rogers screaming at Cal State Fullerton's dugout.  Luckily for U of L fans, Rogers is just a sophomore and will be back next year, hopefully just as jacked.