What is with the jams, man?, A Guest Blog by Guy Thomas Proctor

Every morning Pops takes me and Cros to school in the van. And every morning we all have to decide what jams we are going to blast on the way. You would think this would be the type of deal where everyone gets to pick equally, but it always breaks against ya boy.

It all starts with Pops frantically shouting that whoever gets their car seat straps hooked up first gets to pick the first song. How unfair is that? Crosby has two years of practice on me, how about I beat Steph in ball too while I am at it, Pops? Next thing ya know, Crosby has convinced Pops to turn up her favorite song, "If You Love Me Let Me Goooo!" (editor: "This Is Gospel" by Panic!at the Disco). That song is too heavy for that time in the morning, bros, hittin' my a.m. sensibilities so hard.

Seriously, picture this guys, here I am politely requesting Thomas the Train theme song over and over while Pops and Cros are rocking out to this noise that Pops rudely refers to as "real music". By the time it's my turn, the excuses start, "oh sorry buddy I do not have Thomas right now" or "I am driving and can't change the song right now", so Crosby's playlist (wish I had one of those) plays on and on. On the off chance I do finally get some Daniel Tiger theme song poppin', it is over in one minute. Shouldn't I get a few repeat plays since that other stuff takes forever? Nah, bro, not in this musical dictatorship.

I want to start an online petition on this site, but I see some blueberries and that is my cue to sign off. But until next time, if you see Pops, tell him I know that Thomas the Train has multiple soundtracks readily available on Amazon Music and that if I do not hear them soon, Mom just might find out about the lackluster job he did brushing my teeth last night.


PEACE.

Guy Thomas Proctor is a two year old maniac and occasional contributor to this site.