Setting the record straight on "goofball"- A guest blog by Crosby Jane Proctor

Dad's insult du jour is calling me and my brother Guy "goofballs". He throws the term around without any thought as to the effect on our psyches. I am sure him and his dad friends will say the term is harmless, as they sit around drinking beer and giggling. Well, my name is Crosby Jane, I have a voice, I have agency, and I am here to tell you that I am not, have never been, and will never be a goofball.

Here is the definition of goofball:

goof·ball

ˈɡo͞ofˌbôl/

noun

NORTH AMERICANinformal

1. 1.

   a naive, silly, or stupid person.
2. 2.

   a narcotic drug in pill form, especially a barbiturate.

Does that sound harmless? (rhetorical question, guys) Now, I do not think anyone should be called a goofball, but if someone must be condemned as such, which of the following people better fits the definition:

Person A:
1. Can write their name in standard font and in bubble letters
2. Has nearly perfected a somersault and is progressing towards a cartwheel
3. Creates art in various mediums on a daily basis

Person B:
1. Spends their free time filming themselves talking to a phone and posts it on their "gram story"
2. Frequently takes up to three attempts to say the correct name of their closest friends and family members
3. Falls asleep on the couch with the title screen of a movie they've seen twenty times playing over and over

Unlike goofballs, my readers are not naive, so I am confident you know where I am going with this. Those of us who take things seriously and focus on achieving their goals do not appreciate being called a goofball. Not to mention, the insult is dated and completely unoriginal. Now, if you'll excuse me, it is movie night and Sword in the Stone is starting. Only a goofball would blog during movie time.

CJP is a four year old, a student, a big sister, and a frequent contributor to this site.